Don't Faze Me, Bro!

It's Faze Day. All Greek Day of Fake Hazing. Something stupid the Advisors and The Administration and PHC and IFC came up with where every year we have this one day to "healthily engage in bonding activities". All events have to be pre-approved by the aforementioned parties and there are all this liability waiver shit that both Actives and Pledges sign saying that all parties acknowledge that a Pledge can stop at any time without repercussion... lots of annoying legal jargon... etc.

It is a decently fun day I guess and always a good one to see what everyone around The Row is doing to their pledges.

Last year, The Mansion's pledges served us "breakfast in bed". That was actually not my favorite... nor was it popular with a lot of girls just because we had to get up ridiculously early, clean our rooms, look cute, and then pretend to be "in bed". We told them not to do that this year for all of our sakes since we enjoy sleeping in post Friday night parties. They always make their pledges do something for us. We've got an informal Brother/Sister pairing up between our respective organizations even though that's generally not kosher. It just happened that way since so many of us happen to be dating so many of them.

Our pledges are playing in a soccer game against The Sorority Wannabe Pledges and that should be a piece of cake (slight pun intended). Considering how much of a huge joke that is. The Sorority Wannabes don't stand a chance. I imagine most of them have never set foot on a soccer field.

I imagine The Charter House will have something up their sleeve as well.

All in all, this should be a decently fun day what with the All Greek barbecue and all the assorted fake hazing "bonding" tasks. At least there is one guarantee for the pledges... that nobody's going to haze them tonight since The Advisors, The Administrators, and PHC/IFC will be on the look out for real hazing tonight and most houses are smart enough not to haze the night directly following a day of fake hazing in which all active members get an hour long presentation on the dangers and ills of real hazing. And get reminded that there will be "patrols" and that there's a Hazing Hotline. Dumbest thing in the world, but in the PHC/IFC and the Dean's offices, there is a phone line dedicated to reporting hazing. What a waste of a perfectly decent phone line!

A shotful of vodka helps the medicine go down.

Honestly some weeks I just get too busy to post... the last couple of weeks being the perfect example. Although there were some interesting highlights.

The Wine Heir flew us out to his family's vineyard for a weekend for our "date". It was charming and he definitely did impress. I think he wanted to emphasize the point that he has a bigger lot in life than The Guitar Hero. Nothing happened if any of you thought that I was going to be a sorority slut. Granted he kept plying me with wine and other assorted drinks. Between the two of us, a few bottles of Merlot and Cabernet disappeared and I had a pretty gross wine hangover the next morning. Damn sulfates. I nursed it with a baby bottle of Grey Goose tipped into tomato juice on the flight back.

The Wine Heir didn't hint at all at breaking The Guitar Hero and I up but of course that was his plan. I got back to my room in The House to find the largest bouquet of flowers I've ever seen and a box from Tiffany's. The Guitar Hero is being a big baby about it all... probably because he's insecure and it's annoying the hell out of me. Even The Sorority Prodigy told him to stop being such a baby and back off. His little jealous streak was cute at first and now it's just getting a little annoying. This is why being single is better than being tied down. We've had a rocky few weeks and I'm thinking about breaking it off just because it's getting to that point where I'm not having fun. He's just being whiny and depressed. The other day I was walking by The Mansion and he was blasting the most depressing country music in existence.

In other news, The House had our Big/Lil week during which I spent exorbitant amounts of time and money on The Sorority Prodigy. It's tradition in our line to get a Tiffany's letter charm so that was a part of it. Not to mention taking her out to dinner practically every night and sending her surprise flowers. Then I had to make Littles #1 and #2 feel better and not jealous so I spent time and money there too. Such a balance act... I've definitely gone on a lot of coffee/dessert dates these past two weeks.

And of course, The Row highlights. Most fraternities are heading into their respective Hell Weeks so there have been more interesting things to wake up to. The Dancers had the metal Greek letters on their house inverted... obviously the doing of fraternity pledges. Apparently they climbed up on ladders and unscrewed the letters and then rescrewed them in upside down. And then The Sorority Wannabe house... I feel a little bad that they didn't realize the prank that was played on them. Honestly they're not real sorority girls. They just like to think they are. But in any case, there are a number of Fat Fats and Awkwards in that house and so someone (maybe not even a fraternity is the speculation) left them a huge basket of Twinkies and other assorted processed foods. And the piece de resistance was a stuffed pig in the middle of the basket. Honestly how could the message be more clear?? They actually took it in and spammed the all Greek mailing list that they loved it. And they weren't doing the whole "be a bigger person" deal... they actually believed it. Oh well... at least they're all in the same house and not dispersed through The Real Row Sororities. I don't think I could handle anyone that slow in The House.