Most Girls Get Candy and Flowers on Valentine's Day... I got a Soap Opera

Valentine's Day. Cupid needs to be shot with his own fucking arrows. It began as a quiet day and I thought it was going to be nice. The Guitar Hero met me for lunch, gave me a rose, and told me to get ready for a surprise. It was nice. The day passed fairly uneventfully minus the occasional girl who was walking with balloons that had a little trouble staying on the ground when the wind picked up.

But then I got back to my room. It was an explosion of red, pink, and white roses. Everywhere. Seriously, I think they were popping out of my dirty laundry hamper. And of course on my sofa was a ridiculously gigantic teddy bear with a note. So of course I think it was from The Guitar Hero because he kept hinting at a Valentine's surprise... but no. It wasn't from The Guitar Hero. It was from The Ex.

I haven't spoken to The Ex since we broke up six months ago... in the middle of a cruise we were on I might add. I'm so frustrated with him. Honestly I wonder what goes on in that head of his... obviously not much. He was the one who so tactfully decided to take me on a cruise and then he decided that that would be an excellent time to tell me that he wanted to see more people and do new things and that I was "in his way" and that all of his friends thought that he could do much better than me. He literally said that. What a fucking douchebag. Who the hell says that? To top it off, no way in hell could he do better than me... not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed and definitely not the hottest chili in salsa. In any case, I didn't really care that much about him, it was getting old towards the end.

And then he basically broke into my room and cuteified it. What kind of message is this supposed to give me? Sure we slept together when he came to visit from State School that is 300 miles away and I helped him with various bio assignments and read over his med school app essays. And now, what, he suddenly realized that he should have appreciated me more?

I'm not even sure HOW he broke into my room! Obviously, he had to have talked to someone in The House. In addition to the fact that I locked my door that morning before heading to class. The one talent he had was that he could sweet talk. Actually, I wouldn't be too surprised if he talked to one of his bros at The Hilltop Frat since two of them are ever so conveniently dating two girls from The House. That and he had the nerve to put his fraternity pin on the disgustingly large teddy bear. That thing could crush a small child. I don't want his fucking pin. Yet this was his way of forcing me to call him. So I did. And of course he insisted on coming over and I insisted that I wouldn't open the door to let him in. And as fate would have it, The Guitar Hero text messaged me saying he was coming over. At the precise time The Ex was heading over.

I wanted to die. Really, I did. I didn't want to see The Ex. I didn't want The Guitar Hero to see The Ex. And I really didn't want to deal with it all. But of course, when I went downstairs to get The Guitar Hero, there was The Ex. And apparently they had already acquainted themselves with who they were. And apparently The Guitar Hero has already decided that we are officially going out. So he introduced himself as The Boyfriend. And The Ex... well he also introduced himself as The Boyfriend because he's an idiotic asshole. And then the fighting ensued. Let me tell you, people all up and down The Row were looking. And I am personally not strong enough to pull two guys larger than myself off of each other. I had to call some of The Guitar Hero's bros to break it up... luckily The Mansion is only a few houses up from ours.

I threw the pin at The Ex and took The Guitar Hero inside for some ice. He was also not happy about my room being broken into and decorated. He didn't bring up our relationship and I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean. We ended up going to dinner and then going back to The Mansion to hang out. And he gave a diamond necklace. The Guitar Hero's family is decently rich... they own a lot of real estate and he has his own trust fund in addition to playing gigs at a local church for some serious cash. His way of solidifying our relationship I guess. I didn't have anything to say and neither did he. He simply said he hoped I liked it and walked me back home. And that was it. Honestly, I almost expected that I would need to put out for that gift. It was extravagant, especially seeing as I didn't really get him anything. But therein is the mystery of The Guitar Hero.

It's been a long last couple of days. The story of the fight between The Ex and The Guitar Hero has been buzzing around The Row. And of course, my name's been thrown around, in both good and bad lights depending on who you talk to. I really didn't need to be sororobrat gossip material this weekend. I skipped all the massive parties on this three day weekend and have basically been holed up in my room. The Guitar Hero hasn't called although I suppose it's technically my move. They say sex is a good cure for tension headaches. Maybe I will give him a call.