It's the middle of summer. Why are people having "crises" about rush ALREADY?

I woke up this morning to find about 20 messages (voice/text/email) on my phone from assorted members of The House in various states of panic about recruitment. And I've yet to figure out why.

Yes, rush is important. It is the time where we fish out the girls who will be our successors from the girls who don't care about life enough to slick on some deodorant in the morning. But, we're not anywhere near it right now and The House does well every year. This year will not be any different, especially since The Rush Board has already put together a plan of action about our events and how we expect everyone to conduct themselves.

Miss Socially Awkward (who has always been a little slow in terms of fashion) sent me an email about not being able to find a white dress. What the hell? First of all... nobody said she needed a white dress for rush. To wear a white dress is actually a little stupid for rush, considering it's crowded and someone could have an accident with a glass of The House's Red Raspberry Cordial and your white dress would now have a giant red splotch on it. Unlike some houses (like The Dancers and Barbie's Dream House), The House doesn't believe in having assigned "colors" for each day. Honestly, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I remember when I went through rush and saw every single girl in Barbie's Dream House wearing black, grey, and red. They were like clones... which ironically is precisely what their personalities are like...

No, we prefer style over color uniformity. We instead choose a theme for the day and you must wear clothing appropriate to that theme. You may wear whatever colors you choose as long as they're flattering and fit the theme. And you can't wear colors that will clash with your Rush Team.

We sometimes hit snags with The Socially Awkward, who apparently have never seen a copy of Vogue, Seventeen, Lucky, or InStyle. Ever. But that's why we assign them to shopping buddies who must make time during the summer to go on a shopping trip with them.

In any case, I spent all morning calling these people back and approving the photos of their prospective outfits that they emailed me. I've rather envious of Little Sis #2's pumps... she got a brand new pair of Manolo Blahniks for her birthday. They're gorgeous and will fit right into three nights of Rush: Business Casual, Catwalk, and Formal.

The Sorority Prodigy came in about halfway through my replying to all these messages. She has impeccable taste, no doubt inherited from her mother. She walked in right when I was calling The Miser back. This girl drives me crazy. She constantly bitches about how expensive clothes are... because she only buys expensive clothes. I hate how hypocritically annoying she is. I swear you open her closet and it's all designer labels. She's also apparently never heard of a sales rack. She should really learn to hang out with The Bargain Hunter. That girl finds more discounts and sales than anyone else I know. Give her a set dollar amount that would seem impossible to outfit oneself for a given occasion, and she'll do it. It's amazing the rush you get when you find bargains.

The only legitimate call I got was from another member of The Rush Board, who was struggling to find a new printer for our sign that hangs outside of The House during Rush Week since the old printer went out of business and this is time sensitive since we have to get them the design and whatnot so they can print it and get it back to us by Rush.