Shopping is Stressful

One would think that a sorority girl, when not flashing people at a frat party and giving countless number of bjs, she would be shopping.

This assumption is wrong on all three counts.

Firstly, I have yet to see a sorority girl from The House or otherwise, randomly pull a Girls Gone Wild and flash someone at a frat party. Well. Except for maybe The Skank from STDs 'R' Us, but she's an exception... even in their house.

Secondly, the number of blow jobs a sorority girl gives is grossly overestimated. Grossly. No pun intended.

Thirdly, I wish I could shop all the time that I'm not a frat party. I wish I had that much disposable income and purchasing power hanging out in my adorable-yet-purchased-during-Black-Friday-sales L.A.M.B wallet.

I am entirely envious of The Daddy's Girl in The House. Her dad has an AMEX Black card. And she gets to go shopping with it. It is glorious. And I aspire to have it someday. Either by my own toil and sweat or by marriage. Hey, after all, I'm a sorority girl. All of you who say I shouldn't marry for money... well I also shouldn't base my decision on not marrying someone based on how much money he has. It goes both ways. So ha. Justification. Or something like it.

In any case... shopping is stressful when I'm looking for the ultimately perfect item to add to my closet. The perfect cashmere sweater. Just the right wash of denim. The exact color in a shirt to bring out the sparkle in my eyes. Too often the shirts are cut too long or short, the jeans have pockets that flatten rather than enhance the butt, or the flare is too much. I hate that.

But there are those glorious moments when you succeed. Although today's success was minor in comparison to finding the perfect jeans to enhance the butt (side note: apparently Victoria's Secret has these new jeans that have elastic to "lift" the butt...), it was still nevertheless a success.

I saved up pennies from the endless sweater folding at Generic Retail Store and purchased:

+1 Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler
+1 Christian Dior Diorshow Waterproof Mascara

And it was glorious.

Each of these purchases individually are bliss in a box... and together... well... together it was quite possibly better than sex.

I know, that's hard to believe for the rogue man on here... but shopping and finding that perfect item is just an orgasmic experience in itself that you shall likely never know. Unless you're gay, in which case, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I really wish Shu Uemura and Dior would pay me for blogging about their product. Alas, I am not in their pocket. I am just a sorority girl living in a material world who likes to be pretty.

Big eyes with lashes batting... sure enough, I got the number of Tanned and Built Lifeguard upon my visit to the Club Pool this afternoon.

For more tips on big eyes and gorgeousness... visit the Anonymous Sorority Girl's Guide to Make Up and Make Overs!! Guess what, I write about what kinds of things we do as Sorority Girls to make us sparkle.

This is my blog. I can shamelessly plug my other blog on this one. So go.