There is no justice in this world...

I went shopping today for a new outfit to wear to Generic Biotech Firm Guy and Twin B's barbecue party and of course there were fat people jiggling along their merry way, still able to stuff multiple Big Macs down their fleshy sleep-apnea-snore emitting throats. And of course they take up the entire walkway so I can't even quickly go around them without actually being partially absorbed by their multiple fat rolls. So I'm forced to draft them from behind. Talk about major B.O. God it smelled like ancient gym socks from the bottom of a frat boy's hamper which haven't seen the light or fresh breath of day in the four years that he's been a member.

I wanted to projectile vomit my disgust onto them.

And wouldn't you know it... the fat fats were headed towards the same department store that I was. They even went straight to the dress that I had been eying in a catalogue so I had to quickly turn my attention elsewhere to escape their smelly jiggliness. I once again almost wanted to throw up lunch all over them so they would leave. Almost. But I was in a really nice store and you know, vomit in general isn't too healthy for the body, so I refrained.

I perused the fine jewelry counters and thought about what accessories would go well with my outfit and once the fat people left the rack with the dress on it, I went to get a closer look. It was a decent material - a linen in a deep navy blue, but it screamed "dry clean"... what with the way linen wrinkles at the slightest breath of air. Dry cleaning is currently out of my budget, given the monthly Brazilians and regular mani/pedi/hair salon trips which keep me feeling sane enough to study.

I browsed some more before I went to go consider an anchor necklace that I saw in the accessories case, and passed the fat fats, who were making a purchase at the register.

To my horror, the male fat fat casually whipped out an AMEX Black card. WHAT THE HELL. How can someone who is rich enough to have the coveted AMEX Black card, BE a fat fat??! Rich people who are that rich can afford all the personal chefs and trainers and equipment and spend all day doing lunges around their mansions and castles to NOT be a fat fat. And if not that, they could choose to suck out the fat via liposuction, obviously the more lazy and unhealthy way to do it - but that's usually at the least of a rich person's worries. And if NOTHING else, they could buy some fast pill to weight loss like that Alli pill you keep hearing about that makes you have explosive shits comprising of fatty deposits which the pill prevents your intestines from absorbing.

What the hell. How is it that some butterball OBESE and digustingly fat person (we're not talking your typical overweight here, we're talking like 4x my size... in ONE person) be that rich? It utterly boggles the mind. I understand if you have a gene which makes you PRONE to obesity... but still... something's putting that food and shoving it down down down... you have to stop blaming the genes at some point.

Ugh I was so disgusted, I almost forgot about my cute anchor pendant. But luckily I remembered to get it and it made me feel better knowing that I will look super cute in my new sundress, complete with anchor pendant and festive yacht-themed scarf. And of course a straw chapeau to shade my face from the sun.

There are a lot of naked butts around

The Mansion. I didn't think guys wandered the halls naked but apparently they do. And spank each others butts as they walk by. It's actually really amusing in a kind of scary way.

I've been kicking it here with The Guitar Hero as the last few days of finals go by. It's been pretty chill... he's not too worried about his finals so we've done a lot of chilling poolside and in his room. This other guy, whom I shall name The Gamer, because he is forever playing those video games that guys play actually just pinned his girlfriend tonight and that was fun to watch. The boys serenaded her and there were candles and all that and a bunch of the girls from her house (Barbie's Dream House) were there and all excited and gushy. I'll admit these things as lame as they may seem to the average person, are actually really cool. I mean, it's a tradition that's been passed down forever, basically.

Haha Miss Socially Awkward thinks they're "archaic" and "demeaning to females." Which in my mind is so ridiculously stupid. You don't HAVE to be pinned if you don't want to... it's completely a personal choice. It's not like you parade around town wearing your boy's frat pin... it's just a purely symbolic gesture brought down from tradition. If it's another thing that bothers me about Miss Socially Awkward is that she doesn't appreciate tradition. Sure, now is the time to be the liberal college student or whatever... but you don't have to go protesting every since convention ever. I mean why stop at pins then? Why not protest WonderBread?

This year was pretty exciting for The House "pinning" wise, after all, what sorority girl doesn't want to be pinned (other than Miss Socially Awkward)? Six girls in The House were pinned and The Twins (actual biological twins) got engaged. It was definitely a shocker. I hate telling people that The Twins got engaged... because they're not identical and they're not engaged to twin brothers or brothers or anything oddly fairy tale coincidental like that. They even pledged different semesters. But they're engaged to good guys. One of them is engaged to a MBA student who just graduated and the other is engaged to this guy who works for Generic Biotech Firm. We're all pretty excited for them. And of course since their parents are loaded, they're having separate weddings just to underline the fact that they are being individualistic. So yay... two weddings for me to look forward to. Who knows? Maybe I'll even get asked to be a bridesmaid... after all, they run in my circle in The House and we've had some very drunken nights together. They've invited The Guitar Hero and me to a barbecue they're having later this week at Generic Biotech Firm Guy's house... he just bought a house for the two of them... isn't that CUTE? I'm sure her parents are in love with him already. That should be fun... the boys doing their grill thing and the girls just hanging out.

Thank God The Guitar Hero has his own bathroom so I don't have to wander the halls with naked butts in search of a shower...

Finals are OVER

For me anyway... I lucked out and had all early finals. Everyone else (including Miss Socially Awkward) has finals into next week. I really just need to throw cloths over my TV and computer monitor and I'm pretty much good to go. Thank god I don't have to move all my stuff out of my room or some other craziness. The Rich Bitch's sorority at The State School makes them box up all of their stuff and move it out! Can you imagine that? Every year! That must SUCK.

The Cook made a special surprise for all of us and made a mini fruit arrangement for all of us. It was really sweet of him. In any case, I'm going to stay with The Guitar Hero for the next few days and escape the craziness here. Everyone is so tense. Especially The Exec Board. They're all worried about planning stuff for next year and getting things together and they have finals to worry about. The VP Membership Development is stressing over her accounting finals and The VP Rush has some scary upper division O-Chem craziness.

The Rush Board luckily, has already convened and planned out everything for next semester and we should have, as usual, a successful rush. I don't know if I want to take another little this semester though. After all I do get among the top pick so I suppose I shouldn't waste that.

The Guitar Hero wants me to go home with him and visit with his family. I haven't said yes or no since that seems like to me yet another commitment or step. It seems a little odd to me that he wants me to meet his family, yet hasn't pinned me yet. Plus his mother apparently has scary expectations and I don't know if I want to deal with that. She's definitely part of "high society" and who knows if I'm good enough for her son. Although, she was a member of The House at a different chapter so maybe that will help me... even if I'm not a DAR darling.

So many plans, so little summer.

I have to go pick up The Grandmother from the airport... she's in to visit us and then we have to fly out to see The Older Brother's graduation in three weeks...

I love being on The Rush Board

I love that I have power. Too bad I don't have ultimate power... or else I would have Miss Socially Awkward deported. Or force her to take elocution classes on how to be a normal person.

BUT the good news is that in all of her efforts in taking me to The Judicial Committee and The Student Affairs Court... is that I reversed that shit on her!!! Unsisterly behavior and an attempt to PREVENT someone from going through Formal Rush... nobody's actually ever tried that one before so now Miss Socially Awkward is on the docket for J-Comm's final meeting on two charges. I almost wish we had shitty rooms in this house like at The House's chapter at the state school to the south so that The J-Comm could knock her out of a good room and stick her in a broom closet. That would be a great punishment. One minor flaw in having all good rooms.

Oh well... minor payback for her stupid act. She'll still get punished somehow if I have any say in the matter. And I do. I love that. I'm an incredibly nice and sweet person... unless you cross me. Then watch the fuck out.

On top of that we have to formulate the budget for Rush and that's going to be fun. I hope we don't get our budget cut... last semester we had $600 a night for Rush and it better stay that way or go up... given the things we want to do.

Some people just need to be done.

Miss Socially Awkward took me to The House's Judicial Committee for the "unseemly" behavior. The instance of my so-called "inappropriate" behavior?? Laying out in a bikini out by The Greek Fields. What the hell. SERIOUSLY!?

Of course no one took her seriously since that charge is just stupid. If she's going to get me for something, at least make it good... not something so pathetic. And dating back to the 1800s. Honestly, she's so socially awkward, she hasn't realized that unless you're a crazy puritan or one of those extremist Mormons who only believe in wearing prairie dresses with braids, you can lie out in the sun and tan.

And then she wasn't satisfied with this rejection from The J-Comm and wrote a fucking letter to The Student Affairs Dean trying to have me sent to The Court. No joke, she tried to have me sent to The Student Affairs Court. First of all... it's fucking the last week of school and she's trying to have me sent to a trial with a jury of my peers. This never happens to anyone except freshman who get caught underage drinking in the dorms. Of course it was rejected, but I received an email saying that I had to meet with the dean. And he went onto this speech of how it's good that people around me care about my wellbeing. Wellbeing my fucking ass... I hate these "reach out" meetings since the only reason why I got called in at all is because she's determined to keep her sister from The Rush Lists and that's not going to happen.

This is so late in the semester that it's not even worth doing something to her. I would like to mess with her a little... maybe I can get The Clerk to kick her out of The House for the next year so she couldn't live in.

In any case, I need to start studying for finals.

Today was such a nice day until...

Miss Socially Awkward accosted me while I was laying out by The Greek Fields. I hate that awkward bitch. It's one thing if you've got a great personality but need a little help in looking more polished, it's another when you're inept at holding a conversation, bitchy, and look like birds are going to be nesting in your hair.

Her biological sister is going through rush this fall and Miss Socially Awkward has been campaigning for us not to let her in. Flat out just deny her. Which is screwed up on so many levels. First of all, her real little sister is completely personable and has great taste to top it off. She is good friends with that thing we like to call the hairbrush. And likes to take regular showers. Let's just say I haven't seen Miss Socially Awkward shower in the last four days and she sure smells like she hasn't. Honestly, spritz on some perfume or SOMETHING. I'm tempted to give her my bottle of Febreeze.

As far as I know, everyone who's met Miss Socially Awkward's little sister loves her and is dying for her to be in The House.

And Miss Socially Awkward had the fucking nerve to come annoy me today when I just wanted some peace and quiet and nice scenery while some boys from The Charter House were playing soccer shirtless. I may not be The President or VP Recruitment, but I have a lot of clout within The House. I sit on The Rush Board and am a silent adviser to a lot of members. People don't argue with me.

She wanted me to immediately take her sister off the list of formal invitation recipients for Rush. We haven't even formulated these lists yet of women we want to formally invite to rush The House. You've got to be amazing to get on this list. I was number one on the list my rush year and I happen to take great pride in that so I do not take the planning of these lists lightly. Her sister would be a great candidate to be number one on the list. She will be known as The Number One because I for sure want her and what I say more or less goes.

I told Miss Socially Awkward that it was not going to be possible to reject her sister before she even met anyone in The House and she started fuming at me and saying how The Number One has tormented her for her entire life and how she's just rushing to get back at her for some childish grudge she doesn't remember.

Miss Socially Awkward then started yelling at me and telling me how this is war and how I may have won the battle but she was going to win the war. And of course she did this stupidly at The Greek Fields so half The Row probably heard us.

And how the hell is she going to sabotage me? Me personally? The Rush Lists? Her own sister? We'll see about that... I have to do a little reconnaissance and see what she has planned. She's awkward yes, and hasn't made it to Ariel's level of human knowledge that even a fork can be used to make hair look nice... but she isn't stupid. I'll grant her that. Or at least not stupid about school and planning. I'll need to get people to watch out for me. If she wants a war, then she will get a war.

Why are stupid people always in charge?

Greeks have had a lot of bad press lately from the insane drug bust at San Diego State in California to the hazing that went down at Tulane in Louisiana.

This is mainly the cause of two groups of stupid people in power: the media and the actual stupid people who did thing being reported.

Not to defend the actions of morons who did stupid shit, but the media always portrays the Greek system horribly. Their damn articles are biased and make us look like drains on society when in reality, we aren't. This one article I read when the SDSU story broke said something like "96 were arrested, among whom were several fraternity members" WHAT THE FUCK. What about people from other groups that may have been involved? What about some honors student who went down that path? Or the bookie who sold drugs to supplement his income? What the fuck with the specific identification of Greeks? Even if there weren't other groups involved, they shouldn't have just blatantly put that out there to make it sound like it was a Greek thing, because not all of the 96 were fraternity members.

Part of the reason why there ARE these fucked up stereotypes is because of the media. What about our philanthropy events which raise thousands of dollars towards causes and charities?! Where's the profile on The President of The House who is an honors student studying chemical engineering, doing cutting edge research, and volunteers at the local animal shelter. What about the frat bro in Hilltop House who started his own business? Why are these portraits not being represented and only the asinine individuals who marinate their neurons and livers in alcohol and fill their lungs with carcinogens every weekend?

Yes, there are idiots like the ones who poured boiling hot water on their pledges. Or make them chug milk or other equally stupid things. They're horrible examples of greek life. For one thing, if there are secret rituals and ceremonies involved, you don't do things that actually injure their pledges. Why are some people so thick in the head about that? Like honestly... what was the POINT of pouring hot water with vinegar and spices (so called "crab water") on their pledges? Like really, were they really SO uncreative that all they could think of was to essentially give their pledges a bath? There's no actual brotherhood bonding going on here... just pain and stupidity. I hope some of their bros involved in this were burned in the process of boiling all that water. Even better if some of the spice got into their eyes.

Obviously, whoever decided that this should be a part of their "hell night" should not be in a position of power and actually their seed should be eliminated from the gene pool entirely. But that is how the world has worked since humans sought ways to battle the forces of evolution. If we were still in prehistoric times, all the fat people would have been long eaten and all the stupid people would have likely fallen off cliffs or managed to club themselves in the head rather than prey. Sometimes I wonder what a world like that would be like... but for now I entertain myself with The Darwin Awards.

In any case, the whole conclusion to this rant is:
1. Yes, I'm a Greek but no, I'm not a perpetually drunk whore.
2. Stop putting mentally deficient people into positions of power because clearly they don't know what they're doing or the consequences.
3. The media needs to stop solely portraying Greeks as the downfall of society.
4. Normal people need to be more skeptical and less apt to just follow what the media says. Let's not be lemmings that follow each other off cliffs.

I have a pre-finals holiday, what do you have?

So we're extremely close to finals and we get a random ass Monday and Tuesday off. Why? Because our student senate and president pushed through a bill that grants us pre-end of school de-stress days (i.e. "dead days" except before classes end), so we randomly had yesterday and today off. The whole point is to allow us to catch up on all of the reading/problem sets/papers that we haven't been doing, but in reality, it's just two extra days of partying.

Sunday night what was I doing? Not homework that's for sure! Yours truly was one of the few selected for The Charter Frat's First Annual Dead Day Sorority Fight Night. It was a pretty big deal. The Charter Frat is its fraternity's founding chapter and they're one of the best frats on campus. Probably right up there with The Mansion in my opinion (although not according to The Guitar Hero). There are some majorly hot men in that house.

So in any case, this Sorority Fight Night involved sorority girls and a 6' diameter inflatable pool filled with jello. I wouldn't have consented but this event was to supplement their legitimate philanthropy event, since most other fraternities won't support other fraternity events... but by recruiting girls to get into a tub with jello and take each other down... they were able to sell out tickets. So, my fighting in jello went to benefit The Fight Against A Disease That Kills Kids.

The best sororities on campus all had contestants: The House, Barbie's Whorehouse, The Endorsed House, and The Debutantes among a few others that were throwing into the mix. But of course, I looked the best since this past weekend, I devoted myself to several tanning sessions on the grass next to The Greek Fields. In a new itsty bitty, teeny weeny, absolutely cute bikini.

And I kicked ass. I won the tournament. Why? Because I put in long hours at the gym and actually have muscle. Unlike the girl from Barbie's Whorehouse who is like the shared bicycle on The Row. I think all she ever even does is just lay there... no muscles at all. And you would think if you had sex as much as she did you would build some muscle... That and I wasn't stupid and actually put up my hair so the other girls wouldn't grab at it and drag me down.

Thank god I have stupid real brothers who taught me who to play football. And wrestle.

While The Guitar Hero wasn't entirely ecstatic at my participation (mostly because all I had on were old cutoffs and a sports bra), he did manage to get the bros from The Mansion to endorse me... so not only was I the winner of Sorority Jello Fight Night, I also raised the most money.

First prize for the jello fight was pretty kickass too... I won an all expenses paid cruise for two. And for raising the most money, I got five hundred bucks towards The House's philanthropy, which totally makes us look good to our advisers, although we'll have to pretend like it was a legitimate philanthropy event instead of an underground one that no adviser would probably ever approve.

I had a great weekend despite being covered in lime jello for a good few hours on Sunday evening.

Cupcakes and iPhones, oh My!

I've been dying for a cupcake all day. And that got me into a heated debate with Little Sis #2 about what kind of cupcake is better... Sprinkles or Crumbs. I really can't decide. Little Sis #2 thinks that Crumbs cupcakes are the best things in the entirety of western society while I personally think that Sprinkles are a little more original and homey. When I want cupcakes, I want homey. I reserve the over the top deliciousness for actual cakes and not their smaller cousin.



Yummmmm

It also didn't help that FoodTV was showing a Bobby Flay Throwdown that was a special on cupcakes. And cupcake boutiques don't exist within a reasonable driving distance... especially given the astronomical gas prices that are making the elites even think twice before using their gas guzzlers. So I coerced Little Sis #2 into making cupcakes and they were quite delicious... we used that Funfetti stuff by Pillsbury and they came out pretty moist and yum! I love coercing little sis's into doing things for me...

In other news, I was on Digg yesterday, and supposedly Apple is going to release a 3G version of the iPhone and that AT&T is going to cut the price in their stores. I'm hoping this is true since The Guitar Hero said he would get it for me if this is going to be the case. Sadly, there's still a lot of dispute over it so I dunno. I feel like it might be though, since a lot of people were discussing the original iPhone debut on Digg before Steve unleashed it upon the world. Still...

Anyway, off to the gym to work off that cupcake...