I have a pre-finals holiday, what do you have?

So we're extremely close to finals and we get a random ass Monday and Tuesday off. Why? Because our student senate and president pushed through a bill that grants us pre-end of school de-stress days (i.e. "dead days" except before classes end), so we randomly had yesterday and today off. The whole point is to allow us to catch up on all of the reading/problem sets/papers that we haven't been doing, but in reality, it's just two extra days of partying.

Sunday night what was I doing? Not homework that's for sure! Yours truly was one of the few selected for The Charter Frat's First Annual Dead Day Sorority Fight Night. It was a pretty big deal. The Charter Frat is its fraternity's founding chapter and they're one of the best frats on campus. Probably right up there with The Mansion in my opinion (although not according to The Guitar Hero). There are some majorly hot men in that house.

So in any case, this Sorority Fight Night involved sorority girls and a 6' diameter inflatable pool filled with jello. I wouldn't have consented but this event was to supplement their legitimate philanthropy event, since most other fraternities won't support other fraternity events... but by recruiting girls to get into a tub with jello and take each other down... they were able to sell out tickets. So, my fighting in jello went to benefit The Fight Against A Disease That Kills Kids.

The best sororities on campus all had contestants: The House, Barbie's Whorehouse, The Endorsed House, and The Debutantes among a few others that were throwing into the mix. But of course, I looked the best since this past weekend, I devoted myself to several tanning sessions on the grass next to The Greek Fields. In a new itsty bitty, teeny weeny, absolutely cute bikini.

And I kicked ass. I won the tournament. Why? Because I put in long hours at the gym and actually have muscle. Unlike the girl from Barbie's Whorehouse who is like the shared bicycle on The Row. I think all she ever even does is just lay there... no muscles at all. And you would think if you had sex as much as she did you would build some muscle... That and I wasn't stupid and actually put up my hair so the other girls wouldn't grab at it and drag me down.

Thank god I have stupid real brothers who taught me who to play football. And wrestle.

While The Guitar Hero wasn't entirely ecstatic at my participation (mostly because all I had on were old cutoffs and a sports bra), he did manage to get the bros from The Mansion to endorse me... so not only was I the winner of Sorority Jello Fight Night, I also raised the most money.

First prize for the jello fight was pretty kickass too... I won an all expenses paid cruise for two. And for raising the most money, I got five hundred bucks towards The House's philanthropy, which totally makes us look good to our advisers, although we'll have to pretend like it was a legitimate philanthropy event instead of an underground one that no adviser would probably ever approve.

I had a great weekend despite being covered in lime jello for a good few hours on Sunday evening.