It's amazing what Panhellenic life does to you.

So busy I haven't posted in what... 6 months? There's now snow on the ground and things are winding down for Christmas so I finally have time to not give a shit about sorority life... which is such a hilarious statement because at the end of the day what am I doing? Sorority shit.

The biggest piece of drama this semester was a Big and Little pair that ended up being the finalists for The Hilltop House's Dream Girl. Now that is what I call fierce competition. That shit is serious... some girls would say that's just about as bad as a Big and Little pair fighting over the same guy. In any case, a lot of The House was divided over who to support. It was one of the younger Big and Little pairs, so I didn't really care to have a stake in it. Personally I stopped caring ever since I cut myself from the running for frat dream girls/sweethearts since it would have been bad form considering I've been dating The Resident fairly seriously. I even consented to being pinned and that was a little dramatic episode all on its own.

It was somewhat awkward since The Resident is an alum from The Charter House at a different chapter but they held it at our school's chapter... meaning that The Flirt had to be part of the ceremony as its current president. It was a cute ceremony... some of The Resident's pledge bros came and some other old alums did too... meaning that I got serenaded by a choir of guys from ages 18 to 80. It got interesting when some of the old Charter House alums were hitting on me to hassle The Resident.

I have to get some Christmas shopping done today seeing as this is our first Christmas together and I feel like he's already upped the ante with talk about dinner at the fanciest French place in town. Lucky he's independently wealthy since residency pay sucks.

Some girls still have a few finals left before they can jet home... fortunately, I always plan my classes so my finals are done early.

You don't want to mess with The House... we'll trash your asses

I am fully pleased with the performance of The House after last night's raid attempt. The brothers of The Hilltop House decided to attempt to drunkenly steal our composite... among other things like thongs to pretend they had scored. Last night was actually a decently opportune time to do it since there were a number of invitationals going on and The Row was relatively quiet for a Thursday night.

I was hanging out in my room and then I hear thuds and when I go look there are about four guys that climbed in via the trellis that we have on the side. Granted, they had some rope and other crap with them... it was still not an easy thing to do. It was still fairly amusing... they fell into our third floor because apparently being drunk makes you blind to the fact that you have to pass the second floor in order to get to the third floor. They were especially stupid since there were more open windows on the second floor than there were on the third floor.

I called up a few girls and since The Hot One is dating our school's star quarterback, we had no problem recruiting a few boys to help take the drunken retards down. Of course once we had them tied down in chairs with their own rope and a few random zip ties supplied by The Engineer of The House, we had to punish them. And what better way to punish them than with make up. That's right, we called up some of The Awkwards who need a little practice doing theirs so that they don't look like crazed hookers or little girls who fell into mommy's makeup drawer.

There were mixed results. Some have improved markedly in their blush and eyeshadow application while others... still need some help. In the end though, those Hilltop men didn't know what hit them. Mostly because they were drunk off their asses and by the time we were done, they were passed out. We took them back to their place and tied them to their fence. Let me tell you, the sight on the way to class this morning was totally worth it. A small crowd had gathered and I wouldn't be surprised if this makes front page news on The University's Newspaper come Monday morning.

Our success in retaliation has been going up and down The Row all day... it's great. One of The Awkwards was saying how she felt so bad doing it... but what's there to feel bad about!? They're the ones who tried to break into The House and steal things. It was totally in self-defense. Besides, it wasn't like they sent pledges to attempt to get something. If that were the case, we would have helped their pledges out, gave them brownies and cupcakes and sent them on their way with kisses on the cheek. But no, full grown bros need to learn the hard way.

Events like this make me love being part of The House.

I love saying "I told you so"

Frat boys are so stupid. So there's this guy, The Inker, at Hilltop House... the boy has sleeves documenting his poor taste in choosing tattoos while drunk. And other assorted more exotic locations south of the border.

Well he was at it again this weekend... I saw him wasted on Friday and he asked me what I thought of his idea. I pretty much said it was probably not smart. He disappeared and apparently got a tattoo commemorating his love to this girl he really likes and hooks up with quite a bit. Apparently he's not phased with having this girl's name on his body glaring at his future wife. But yes so his brilliant idea... was to get a tattoo of a guy getting a tattoo that said "I love (insert girl's initials here)".

First off... how unnecessarily stupid. Why not scrub the middle man and just get the message? It'd be cheaper too since it'd be less labor intensive... but I swear The Inker treats his tats like designer clothing. I suppose in a way it is designer body art, but seriously his idea was just impractical. Especially since the message was going to be one that wasn't particularly meaningful.

Actually it would still have been fine... maybe even a little cool because it was a tattoo within a tattoo... kind of like Hamlet's play within a play (damn you Upper division Shakespearean Tragedies!) but he failed to take into account the initials of the girl he's dating. That's right... his tattoo of a guy getting a tattoo now reads "I love STD". I actually don't know who to feel more sorry for... The Inker... or the girl since STD really is such a horrible set of initials. What the hell were her parents thinking??

Anyway, The Inker didn't notice until I asked him about it today. That was sad. Granted he was drunk when he got inked... but for 3 days he didn't notice. And now he's forever going to have I <3 STD on his body, effectively blowing to pieces his chance of ever getting ass ever again.

Hahaha... it's mean but it's funny for me. Extremely funny.

Because I told him so. And because this is what happens when you make decisions when extremely drunk.