I am not a whore... but I like to do it.

Celebrity gossip is addicting and act as excellent conversation pieces during awkward silences at parties. Gossip on The Row is also addicting, but becomes the conversation piece that creates awkward silences at parties.

How is it that the socially awkward are either a) nymphomaniacs as a result of their social exclusion or b) judgmental prudes??

Apparently when The Resident was over last week and we were engaging in some fun in my bed for once, one of the socially awkward members from our newest pledge class decided to come and talk to me about being on Panhellenic. There are so many things wrong with that sentence. I would NEVER endorse her for Panhellenic. Supposedly, she heard us going at it and has since been spreading it around to everyone. What a bitch. We weren't even being loud... I asked Little #2 who lives next door and she said she heard nothing. I imagine what happened instead was that she was talking to Miss Socially Awkward (her big sis), who saw The Resident come into my room earlier and then put it together when she tried to come in and the door was locked.

Miss Socially Awkward herself makes poor sexual decisions and is often seen making the walk of shame following a night of being spotted sucking face with some equally awkward boy... usually a freshman. Yet, you never hear this shit coming from her bitchy and judgmental prudish little. Queen Prude instead decides to launch an attack on me and has been systematically spreading it around to everyone that I am a whore. Then last night, as I arrived at The Charter House annual HO HO HO Party, everything turned to whispers and glances in my direction. Then The Flirt came and told me what he had heard and whether or not it was true... of course like any good rumor, this got twisted around so by the time it got to him, the gossip turned into me having a threesome with two of The Row's whoriest girls in a fraternity's basement, which is a ridiculous absurdity all on its own. First of all, if I were in a threesome, it would be with two other guys, NOT two other girls. Second: I would not be caught dead having sex in a fraternity basement.

Of course, I traced it to Queen Prudy because she stupidly made it her story in a pathetic and desperate attempt to raise her own social status and as soon as she made an appearance at The House for lunch, I bitched her out in front of everyone. She didn't know what was coming to her. Of course after I called her out on it, Miss Socially Awkward felt obligated to butt her fat ass into the conversation in defense of her little, at which point I asked her if she would like to share with everyone the story behind her most recent walk of shame. She turned about 15 shades of red and walked away as Queen Prudy stared open-mouthed in shock. Amazing how some little sisters can be so oblivious to their bigs' extracurricular activities.

In any case, I've been doing damage control. For the most part, this has blown over and once everyone discovered the source to be Queen Prudy, they all dismissed it. Still, The Row is full of sorority girls who jump at the opportunity for interesting pieces of gossip so I imagine this will linger for some time... especially since everyone knew me as part of Panhell. For some reason, once you're on Panhell and everyone knows your name, that makes rumors about you worth just that much more.

Socially awkward prudes should never join sororities. Of course, they somehow manage to perpetuate themselves and survive like fucking cockroaches through nuclear war. Honestly, I wonder if this prudy breed of the socially awkward are just uptight bitches just because they've never had sex. If they did or at least did properly, they wouldn't walk around all day like they had a corkscrew up their asses. Maybe that's it. They're trying to preserve their technical purity or whatever and just consent to anal.

I could take the so-called "high road" and "forget" this incident... but where's the fun in that. Besides, I subscribe to the belief that luck is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. Bitch picked the wrong person to mess with. This is so not over.

Allez cuisine!

The Debutante House held their philanthropy event last night - a cooking competition based on Iron Chef, but modified to allow for more competition categories. Each house (frat or sorority) can submit a dish to each category. The frats get really competitive and it can definitely be hard to top them in categories like barbecue. They tend to dominate in anything that involves meat and marinating. Sororities tend to dominate in baking.

But the really big highlight and main event is the actual timed competition itself. It's set up pretty much like the show, but with 2 hours for cooking time. Each house basically gets a list of like 5 potential ingredients that could be the "secret" ingredient so they can put together some kind of strategy to come up with a number of dishes.

The House's team consisted of The Stepford Daughter, The Sorority Prodigy, The Always Excited Sister, and The Really Innocent Sister. The Stepford Daughter always has to get everything perfect and is totally anal retentive, but at least she gets things done and done well. The Always Excited Sister is ... as her title implies, always excited. About everything. It's a little unnerving really because nobody should ever be that excited about everything. The Really Innocent Sister is so naive and innocent about everything... it's a little ironic since she's her pledge class's and also The House's Littlest Little, which just means that by lineage she's the "baby". Her Big-Lil family line is the longest with current sisters in The House. She's like a Great Great Great Grand Lil since her family added another new Little to their line like every single time we've even had pledges.

Anyway, they all sat down with The House's chef and planned out menus for each item on the list. We love The Chef... he made samples of each dish so we could figure out what we liked best and then the team practiced with him. And The Pastry Chef showed them different desserts they could do too. The Sorority Prodigy told me the list of possible secret ingredients: tortillas, cream cheese, rice krispies (the cereal), apples, and beer. The theme was "typical things you'd find in a college student's refrigerator." I was surprised all the advisors (University, Panhell, and The Debutantes' own international) all approved beer as a possible secret ingredient. Whatever though they weren't going to pick beer even though that would have been so awesome. Instead, the secret ingredient turned out to be cream cheese and our dishes ended up being:

Artichoke Cream Cheese Spread on Crostinis
Chicken Manicotti
Thyme Cheese Potatoes
Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting
Cheesecake Pops

SO good. And we won. Apparently people were thrown for a loop because cream cheese is something they only see on bagels or something. Well at least for the frats. Most of the sororities only came up with things that were sweets where we had a variety. We tend to care more than others about competition so we tend to win. Although there are some events which we just don't care all that much about because they're kind of lame.

Thursday Night Rush Parties

Rush is about to begin but I have no worries. We'll kick ass as we do every year, in part to our successful and sneaky dirty rushing. Example: The Sorority Prodigy is as good as ours since The Social Chair and I have been wooing her all summer.

Speaking of dirty rushing, The Social Chair and I hit up some frat rush parties tonight... which is always an interesting experience. The Charter House tried to keep us with them all night just because girls by nature attract pledges, let alone hot girls from the best house on campus. We left once the freshmen started trying to hit on us. The Flirt caught up with me tonight and attempted to woo me with compliments. I hate when frat boys try to do the "gallant" thing and walk us home because really... we're not going home... we're going to another party. The Flirt tried to walk me home when I said I was tired but really I meant that I was leaving to head to The Mansion for their rush party... needless to say The Guitar Hero was not pleased when he met me at my door with The Flirt walking me up the path. There were some looks thrown.

To be honest though... The Charter House's set of new pledge prospects seems a whole lot better than The Mansion's... they're just on the whole way cuter and more together with their clothing choices. I think The Sorority Prodigy and The Prep from The Charter House are well on their way to becoming a couple... much to the dismay of The Guitar Hero. Oh well. Not like he has much of a say in these things.

I'm surprised that girls stayed in at The House tonight... like who doesn't go out on a Thursday night???