Honestly some weeks I just get too busy to post... the last couple of weeks being the perfect example. Although there were some interesting highlights.
The Wine Heir flew us out to his family's vineyard for a weekend for our "date". It was charming and he definitely did impress. I think he wanted to emphasize the point that he has a bigger lot in life than The Guitar Hero. Nothing happened if any of you thought that I was going to be a sorority slut. Granted he kept plying me with wine and other assorted drinks. Between the two of us, a few bottles of Merlot and Cabernet disappeared and I had a pretty gross wine hangover the next morning. Damn sulfates. I nursed it with a baby bottle of Grey Goose tipped into tomato juice on the flight back.
The Wine Heir didn't hint at all at breaking The Guitar Hero and I up but of course that was his plan. I got back to my room in The House to find the largest bouquet of flowers I've ever seen and a box from Tiffany's. The Guitar Hero is being a big baby about it all... probably because he's insecure and it's annoying the hell out of me. Even The Sorority Prodigy told him to stop being such a baby and back off. His little jealous streak was cute at first and now it's just getting a little annoying. This is why being single is better than being tied down. We've had a rocky few weeks and I'm thinking about breaking it off just because it's getting to that point where I'm not having fun. He's just being whiny and depressed. The other day I was walking by The Mansion and he was blasting the most depressing country music in existence.
In other news, The House had our Big/Lil week during which I spent exorbitant amounts of time and money on The Sorority Prodigy. It's tradition in our line to get a Tiffany's letter charm so that was a part of it. Not to mention taking her out to dinner practically every night and sending her surprise flowers. Then I had to make Littles #1 and #2 feel better and not jealous so I spent time and money there too. Such a balance act... I've definitely gone on a lot of coffee/dessert dates these past two weeks.
And of course, The Row highlights. Most fraternities are heading into their respective Hell Weeks so there have been more interesting things to wake up to. The Dancers had the metal Greek letters on their house inverted... obviously the doing of fraternity pledges. Apparently they climbed up on ladders and unscrewed the letters and then rescrewed them in upside down. And then The Sorority Wannabe house... I feel a little bad that they didn't realize the prank that was played on them. Honestly they're not real sorority girls. They just like to think they are. But in any case, there are a number of Fat Fats and Awkwards in that house and so someone (maybe not even a fraternity is the speculation) left them a huge basket of Twinkies and other assorted processed foods. And the piece de resistance was a stuffed pig in the middle of the basket. Honestly how could the message be more clear?? They actually took it in and spammed the all Greek mailing list that they loved it. And they weren't doing the whole "be a bigger person" deal... they actually believed it. Oh well... at least they're all in the same house and not dispersed through The Real Row Sororities. I don't think I could handle anyone that slow in The House.
Showing posts with label raid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label raid. Show all posts
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Midnight Raids and Broken Pumpkins
I woke up this morning and looked out from the balcony to find all of our patio tables stacked 3 high with the lounge chairs forming bridges between the two structures. At the top of two structures were "flagpoles" shoved into the holes where umbrellas should have gone and the flags... two pairs of boxers fluttering in the breeze.
Obviously a fraternity's doing... the only question is which one? The most likely culprits are always The Charter House and possibly The Hilltop House... The Charter House because we still have their Charter and Hilltop House is always trying to raid us.
We don't really care too much though because The Mansion offered us their pledges to take down the tables and chairs and arrange them properly again. So nice of them.
I can't wait until tomorrow. There are going to be raging parties tomorrow night and I've got a hot costume. The only unfortunate thing about Halloween is that the streets are littered with smashed pumpkins. On the plus side, it's cold enough now that there aren't too many flies around the broken chunks. But they'll start to smell soon. I don't know what possesses guys to want to break pumpkins all over the place. I imagine I'll see pledges picking up pieces of broken pumpkin before the day is over.
Obviously a fraternity's doing... the only question is which one? The most likely culprits are always The Charter House and possibly The Hilltop House... The Charter House because we still have their Charter and Hilltop House is always trying to raid us.
We don't really care too much though because The Mansion offered us their pledges to take down the tables and chairs and arrange them properly again. So nice of them.
I can't wait until tomorrow. There are going to be raging parties tomorrow night and I've got a hot costume. The only unfortunate thing about Halloween is that the streets are littered with smashed pumpkins. On the plus side, it's cold enough now that there aren't too many flies around the broken chunks. But they'll start to smell soon. I don't know what possesses guys to want to break pumpkins all over the place. I imagine I'll see pledges picking up pieces of broken pumpkin before the day is over.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Second Task with a spoonful of sweet revenge
It's that time of year again when the fraternity men send their pledges on missions to raid our house and we in turn send our pledges over there to toy with them.
I basically orchestrated The Second Task for the new pledges. It was time that I took a hand in planning some of the tasks. That and I need to exact my revenge on The Flirt... and what better way than through pledge bonding?
The Flirt had the nerve to hand the red thong I had given his little bro back to me in the middle of Monday Night Football and insinuate to everyone there that I had "forgotten it" there the night before.
I casually let it slip to The Flirt that The Pledges were going to go steal The Hilltop House's composite. I know he's been wanting to send The Charter House Pledges to raid The House and possibly steal some House paraphernalia - assorted trophies and plaques from various competitions we've won. I know that what he really wants is our Charter.
The Charter is nothing more than a symbolic and historic piece of paper which recognizes the particular Greek chapter as a local branch of whatever organization, fraternity or sorority. It's just a piece of paper, generally in a frame, but it is power. As tradition on The Row holds, steal a Chapter Charter and you can demand a request, any request, from them. It's the ultimate power play. As far as I know, no Charter has been stolen in recent memory... I heard that Barbie's Whorehouse had their Charter stolen several years ago and the repercussion was doing a lap around The Row stark naked.
I fully intend on never having The House Charter stolen.
As per Greek rules, The Charter must hang fully displayed. And so it is in The House... but seeing as there were no specifications as to where it is hung, we at The House have ours displayed on an outcrop from the wall about 30 feet in the air facing our twin stairs, but impossible to reach without a ladder. It sits in a niche essentially, probably originally intended for fake plants or useless decorative crap.
In any case, during this conversation with The Flirt, I also led him to believe that The House Actives would be away at an exchange with The Mansion... completely believable since several of us are dating several of them. You could practically see the cogwheels in his brain turning about how he would plan to steal The House Charter.
And last night the plan came together quite nicely. At about 10:30 last night, we sent The Pledges in the general direction of The Hilltop House. We in turn, turned off most of the lights and prepared for the raid.
I can't imagine why all the fraternities try to climb our trellis. It is honestly the stupidest, clumsiest, and most obnoxious way to get into The House. Last Spring, The Hilltop House tried this one and of course we kicked their sorry little asses...
I stationed Little Sis #1 in my room, which has a clear view of the trellis. A group of the quickest thinkers were stationed around the actual Charter itself. The Social Chair was leading that group and they hid behind sofas in the adjacent room, the grandfather clock, the closet we have under the stairs, and a strategically placed table that we moved in and covered with a cloth.
Another group was up on the roof and up on room balconies to tell us of any other movements and possible attempts to get into The House. We also had patrol groups stationed on each floor in case assistance would be needed. It may sound drastic, but raids are serious business and essentially it's all about strategy. I certainly don't want to have to run around The Row butt naked, nor do I intend on having The House's name sullied on my watch.
The Charter House boys started coming up the trellis and another group attempted to go through our garden to the rear of The House. The third and final group was stationed around outside, probably as lookouts for us.
We waited until the trellis climbers had fully made it onto the balconies and made their way through french doors we intentionally left open on the third floor. Then the ladies up on the roof started pelting paint-filled water balloons at the boys in the yard and also the lookouts who all promptly ran for cover. There's nothing like water balloons filled with paint to make a raid a little more interesting. The guys that had made it into The House were oblivious to the fact that their other groups had been taken down. The way Raids/Row Wars really work is that if you are covered in some kind of substance, you're essentially "dead" and out. The group in The House made their way down and systematically took framed pictures off the walls. My phone vibrated in my back pocket and it was a text from The Sorority Prodigy which confirmed their success on their task. I text back with instructions to start heading back and wait for lights and noise. I had been up on the third flood and quietly took the back stairs down to the ground floor and doubled back to the living room where I waited behind a door.
The boys were coming down the twin stairs and one of their phones went off with an annoying sound of a text message followed quickly by a whispered "SHIT!" Then I heard The Flirt whisper back, "why the fuck was that not on silent" The original voice said "Fuck! Ground Teams 1 and 2 were taken down. Just got the message." A nervous silence. It was beautiful. They were beginning to realize that something was up. I love this part. "If they're all on the roof, then they aren't here. Grab The Charter and run," one of them said. "Fuck. The Ground Team was supposed to bring the ladder."
At which point, I decided to walk out from behind the door and say, "Show's over, boys. You have failed in your mission" and promptly sprayed The Flirt and the two guys on either side of him with silly string. Girls then flooded out from where they were hiding and sprayed more silly string and threw glitter confetti on them. I think it was extra crap we had randomly leftover from last year that we dug out of some box. In any case, they were covered in silly string and confetti.
With all this noise, our front door swung open and The Sorority Prodigy stood there with The Charter House's Charter in her hands.
The look on The Flirt's face was priceless. And it's even more priceless because one of the girls got it on camera. I suppose it was all the more humiliating for them because they are the Alpha chapter of their fraternity.
Oh last night was a great night. It's already all over The Row that The House managed to steal The Charter House's Charter the same night that they tried to steal ours. Damn straight. You don't mess with The House and get away with it.
We (and by we, I mean I) haven't decided what we want to make them do yet... but I can assure you it WILL be good. Cheers to yet another successful raid and a successful defense!
I basically orchestrated The Second Task for the new pledges. It was time that I took a hand in planning some of the tasks. That and I need to exact my revenge on The Flirt... and what better way than through pledge bonding?
The Flirt had the nerve to hand the red thong I had given his little bro back to me in the middle of Monday Night Football and insinuate to everyone there that I had "forgotten it" there the night before.
I casually let it slip to The Flirt that The Pledges were going to go steal The Hilltop House's composite. I know he's been wanting to send The Charter House Pledges to raid The House and possibly steal some House paraphernalia - assorted trophies and plaques from various competitions we've won. I know that what he really wants is our Charter.
The Charter is nothing more than a symbolic and historic piece of paper which recognizes the particular Greek chapter as a local branch of whatever organization, fraternity or sorority. It's just a piece of paper, generally in a frame, but it is power. As tradition on The Row holds, steal a Chapter Charter and you can demand a request, any request, from them. It's the ultimate power play. As far as I know, no Charter has been stolen in recent memory... I heard that Barbie's Whorehouse had their Charter stolen several years ago and the repercussion was doing a lap around The Row stark naked.
I fully intend on never having The House Charter stolen.
As per Greek rules, The Charter must hang fully displayed. And so it is in The House... but seeing as there were no specifications as to where it is hung, we at The House have ours displayed on an outcrop from the wall about 30 feet in the air facing our twin stairs, but impossible to reach without a ladder. It sits in a niche essentially, probably originally intended for fake plants or useless decorative crap.
In any case, during this conversation with The Flirt, I also led him to believe that The House Actives would be away at an exchange with The Mansion... completely believable since several of us are dating several of them. You could practically see the cogwheels in his brain turning about how he would plan to steal The House Charter.
And last night the plan came together quite nicely. At about 10:30 last night, we sent The Pledges in the general direction of The Hilltop House. We in turn, turned off most of the lights and prepared for the raid.
I can't imagine why all the fraternities try to climb our trellis. It is honestly the stupidest, clumsiest, and most obnoxious way to get into The House. Last Spring, The Hilltop House tried this one and of course we kicked their sorry little asses...
I stationed Little Sis #1 in my room, which has a clear view of the trellis. A group of the quickest thinkers were stationed around the actual Charter itself. The Social Chair was leading that group and they hid behind sofas in the adjacent room, the grandfather clock, the closet we have under the stairs, and a strategically placed table that we moved in and covered with a cloth.
Another group was up on the roof and up on room balconies to tell us of any other movements and possible attempts to get into The House. We also had patrol groups stationed on each floor in case assistance would be needed. It may sound drastic, but raids are serious business and essentially it's all about strategy. I certainly don't want to have to run around The Row butt naked, nor do I intend on having The House's name sullied on my watch.
The Charter House boys started coming up the trellis and another group attempted to go through our garden to the rear of The House. The third and final group was stationed around outside, probably as lookouts for us.
We waited until the trellis climbers had fully made it onto the balconies and made their way through french doors we intentionally left open on the third floor. Then the ladies up on the roof started pelting paint-filled water balloons at the boys in the yard and also the lookouts who all promptly ran for cover. There's nothing like water balloons filled with paint to make a raid a little more interesting. The guys that had made it into The House were oblivious to the fact that their other groups had been taken down. The way Raids/Row Wars really work is that if you are covered in some kind of substance, you're essentially "dead" and out. The group in The House made their way down and systematically took framed pictures off the walls. My phone vibrated in my back pocket and it was a text from The Sorority Prodigy which confirmed their success on their task. I text back with instructions to start heading back and wait for lights and noise. I had been up on the third flood and quietly took the back stairs down to the ground floor and doubled back to the living room where I waited behind a door.
The boys were coming down the twin stairs and one of their phones went off with an annoying sound of a text message followed quickly by a whispered "SHIT!" Then I heard The Flirt whisper back, "why the fuck was that not on silent" The original voice said "Fuck! Ground Teams 1 and 2 were taken down. Just got the message." A nervous silence. It was beautiful. They were beginning to realize that something was up. I love this part. "If they're all on the roof, then they aren't here. Grab The Charter and run," one of them said. "Fuck. The Ground Team was supposed to bring the ladder."
At which point, I decided to walk out from behind the door and say, "Show's over, boys. You have failed in your mission" and promptly sprayed The Flirt and the two guys on either side of him with silly string. Girls then flooded out from where they were hiding and sprayed more silly string and threw glitter confetti on them. I think it was extra crap we had randomly leftover from last year that we dug out of some box. In any case, they were covered in silly string and confetti.
With all this noise, our front door swung open and The Sorority Prodigy stood there with The Charter House's Charter in her hands.
The look on The Flirt's face was priceless. And it's even more priceless because one of the girls got it on camera. I suppose it was all the more humiliating for them because they are the Alpha chapter of their fraternity.
Oh last night was a great night. It's already all over The Row that The House managed to steal The Charter House's Charter the same night that they tried to steal ours. Damn straight. You don't mess with The House and get away with it.
We (and by we, I mean I) haven't decided what we want to make them do yet... but I can assure you it WILL be good. Cheers to yet another successful raid and a successful defense!
Friday, April 25, 2008
You don't want to mess with The House... we'll trash your asses
I am fully pleased with the performance of The House after last night's raid attempt. The brothers of The Hilltop House decided to attempt to drunkenly steal our composite... among other things like thongs to pretend they had scored. Last night was actually a decently opportune time to do it since there were a number of invitationals going on and The Row was relatively quiet for a Thursday night.
I was hanging out in my room and then I hear thuds and when I go look there are about four guys that climbed in via the trellis that we have on the side. Granted, they had some rope and other crap with them... it was still not an easy thing to do. It was still fairly amusing... they fell into our third floor because apparently being drunk makes you blind to the fact that you have to pass the second floor in order to get to the third floor. They were especially stupid since there were more open windows on the second floor than there were on the third floor.
I called up a few girls and since The Hot One is dating our school's star quarterback, we had no problem recruiting a few boys to help take the drunken retards down. Of course once we had them tied down in chairs with their own rope and a few random zip ties supplied by The Engineer of The House, we had to punish them. And what better way to punish them than with make up. That's right, we called up some of The Awkwards who need a little practice doing theirs so that they don't look like crazed hookers or little girls who fell into mommy's makeup drawer.
There were mixed results. Some have improved markedly in their blush and eyeshadow application while others... still need some help. In the end though, those Hilltop men didn't know what hit them. Mostly because they were drunk off their asses and by the time we were done, they were passed out. We took them back to their place and tied them to their fence. Let me tell you, the sight on the way to class this morning was totally worth it. A small crowd had gathered and I wouldn't be surprised if this makes front page news on The University's Newspaper come Monday morning.
Our success in retaliation has been going up and down The Row all day... it's great. One of The Awkwards was saying how she felt so bad doing it... but what's there to feel bad about!? They're the ones who tried to break into The House and steal things. It was totally in self-defense. Besides, it wasn't like they sent pledges to attempt to get something. If that were the case, we would have helped their pledges out, gave them brownies and cupcakes and sent them on their way with kisses on the cheek. But no, full grown bros need to learn the hard way.
Events like this make me love being part of The House.
I was hanging out in my room and then I hear thuds and when I go look there are about four guys that climbed in via the trellis that we have on the side. Granted, they had some rope and other crap with them... it was still not an easy thing to do. It was still fairly amusing... they fell into our third floor because apparently being drunk makes you blind to the fact that you have to pass the second floor in order to get to the third floor. They were especially stupid since there were more open windows on the second floor than there were on the third floor.
I called up a few girls and since The Hot One is dating our school's star quarterback, we had no problem recruiting a few boys to help take the drunken retards down. Of course once we had them tied down in chairs with their own rope and a few random zip ties supplied by The Engineer of The House, we had to punish them. And what better way to punish them than with make up. That's right, we called up some of The Awkwards who need a little practice doing theirs so that they don't look like crazed hookers or little girls who fell into mommy's makeup drawer.
There were mixed results. Some have improved markedly in their blush and eyeshadow application while others... still need some help. In the end though, those Hilltop men didn't know what hit them. Mostly because they were drunk off their asses and by the time we were done, they were passed out. We took them back to their place and tied them to their fence. Let me tell you, the sight on the way to class this morning was totally worth it. A small crowd had gathered and I wouldn't be surprised if this makes front page news on The University's Newspaper come Monday morning.
Our success in retaliation has been going up and down The Row all day... it's great. One of The Awkwards was saying how she felt so bad doing it... but what's there to feel bad about!? They're the ones who tried to break into The House and steal things. It was totally in self-defense. Besides, it wasn't like they sent pledges to attempt to get something. If that were the case, we would have helped their pledges out, gave them brownies and cupcakes and sent them on their way with kisses on the cheek. But no, full grown bros need to learn the hard way.
Events like this make me love being part of The House.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
