Ahoy, there!

Well the cruise was relaxing... The Guitar Hero (who luckily isn't as dipshitty as The Older Brother) believes me now and we are once again sailing through calm waters. Snorkeling was fun... we saw lots of Nemos and Dori-s and assorted other types of tropical fish.

The last few days have been far more interesting. I've been visiting with The Guitar Hero's family... they may not be of a family quite as famed as The Wine Heir... but they're from old money and known in the circles of upper society.

We got to his place during the late afternoon and his mother had some DAR friends over at the time. They were having tea... and so we got rooked into also having tea. That was when the interrogation began.

They grilled me about my family background and about my history. The whole group of old biddies was quite appalled that I never came out into society as a debutante and proceeded to cackle about their own daughters' coming outs. I really don't give two cents in shit currency about not having been a debutante. It's like a weird ceremony which mixes friends and family and alcohol... which is so often a bad combination. Plus you're usually too stupid at 16 or 17 to really enjoy the whole event. The Biddies only let up when they found out that I'm a member of The House. Turns out all of them are sisters and they're still active in their alumae group (see post about Alums...) Although the one nice thing about having old biddy alums is that they throw money at you. It's almost like being a stripper except more dignified and the customers are old women instead of men.

The Guitar Hero's Mother put me in a guest room in the wing of the house at the complete opposite end from The Guitar Hero's room (seriously, my room is on the second floor and his is on the third... complete opposite wings). I'll have to say this: the woman has impeccable taste. Which made me more sure of my clothing choices for this week. I feel very dignified in my choice of clothing. I only packed one pair of jeans and that's only on the off-chance we go horseback riding. I imagine she doesn't like jeans.

The Guitar Hero's Sister who shall henceforth be known as The Society Prodigy, is a sweet girl. She's still "young" (only a few years younger than us, but I'm jaded for my age) and just came out in society (I'm sure there are many of you snickering at the implication that she just came out of the closet, but no). She seems to like me... she came in and helped me unpack my clothes. She's a riding champ so I imagine before long I may be coerced to go for a ride. She's coming to The University too in the fall and she's primed for being a legacy to The House.

Which brings us to the point of dinner conversation. The Guitar Hero mentioned during dinner how I was really involved at The House and constantly staying busy (to which his mother said "And you still find enough time to spend time with my son?"... I smiled through that dig and nodded) and my position on The Rush Board came up, which piqued that DAR society woman's interest. Apparently she also served in the same position and she has vested interest in me since I could singlehandedly get her daughter into The House. Although I'm not sure why she would be so excited about the latter since we always give priority to legacies anyway. Even the trashy ones.

I remember last Fall Rush, we had this whorey legacy go through that everyone hated. She was offensive and rude and we wondered how any alum could spawn such children (until we remembered The Alum with the Bad Boob Job). We had to give her a courtesy return bid on the second day, but we dropped her ass to the bottom of our lists by day three.

I expected to be talking about The House a lot... but she grilled me on this year's Fall Rush plans... well into dessert. I got tired of it after a while since that's a subject I've beaten over and over again when dealing with my subordinates as well as the occasional stupid comments from Miss Socially Awkward and her band of awkward legions. In any case, I'm confident that The Guitar Hero's Mother approves of our rush plans after I explained them in detail, despite the fact that she thinks that stargazer lilies are too bright and ostentatious for the day of house tours and that cala lilies would be much more "elegant". Whatever. As if cala lilies aren't ostentatious in their height and alabaster appearance (at least with the white ones).

Oh well. Just a few more days and I'll be back home. Although The Guitar Hero mentioned a sailing trip that his family is taking and would like to take me along. I would have to meet some of his extended family, but I might just accept to avoid The Older Brother entirely since he's still moving his stuff out of our house and into his apartment. We still haven't talked since the incident and as far as I can tell, the majority of the family who now knows about the whole background story (surprise surprise) agrees with me and thinks he's retarded.

Off to a day of high society events...

After getting an edjumacashun, you have to attend a gradumawashun

The Older Brother's graduation is coming up and I now need to think about packing. Thank god The Parents gave me a Tiffany's jewel roll last Christmas so I can bring along all the necessary accessories... seriously though, accessories make the outfit.

The Older Brother's girlfriend who is a member of The Barbie's Whorehouse sorority at their school will also be in attendance. I hate that bitch on so many levels. I still haven't figured out quite why The Older Brother likes her so much... probably because she enables him to work out his frustrations sexually... Honestly she goes around touting how much greater her house is compared to mine. What the fuck. We're not even on the same campus so she just really needs to cool that shit. Although, The Older Brother showed me several smack posts on Juicy Campus about her, criticizing everything from her bleached hair to her oddly robust breasts. There was serious speculation about a boob and nose job combo in one thread. Hey, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm sure having larger assets are worth extra premiums when you're sliding up and down a pole.

They're talking about moving in together after graduation and our parents are horrified. I'm fairly certain they'll do everything they can to prevent that. Who knows, maybe they'll even threaten to cut him out of the trust fund. That would bring some nice family drama and significantly increase both my share and The Little Brother's share...

In any case, it will be a huge family affair since it's the first kid's graduation. I'm sure both grandparents will be in attendance and probably a whole slew of aunts, uncles, and cousins.

The Guitar Hero wanted to come along and do the whole Meet the Parents thing, but I persuaded him out of it. I don't need the entire family questioning every little thing about him and I haven't taught him the ways of mastering my family yet. Old people are really good at wearing down at young people. Especially The Nana, my mom's mom who was also a member of The House, but at a different chapter. She HATED The Mansion back then because of some crazy drama that went down and I imagine she still has a fiery hate for them now... And seeing as I'm her legacy and favorite grandchild, she may feel particularly inclined to interrogate The Guitar Hero and possibly castrate him just for fun. Sure it's fun to be in a family that's been Greek for ages and ages, but it's not without its consequences and complications.

Ugh I'm also less than excited to visit The Older Brother's frat... which actually doesn't have a chapter at my school. I visited The Older Bro during my senior year in high school for like a weekend and I happened to hook up with one of the new pledges at the time. When The Older Brother found out, he gave that pledge the ass kicking of his life for hooking up with me... which has since earned me the oh so lovely nickname of "Jailbait" around their frat. And it hasn't gone away since that incident. Hopefully all of them will have enough combined sense between their two heads (ha-ha) to not use that name when The Parents are around... or else they will send me to the 13th circle of hell and threaten to cut me out of the trust fund.