Back to reality

Okay so I've been back home for like a week. But whatever. It's been quiet at home and things have calmed since The Older Brother's break with sanity. The Wine Heir sent me flowers apparently. They were all dead by the time I got home haha.

I've been going to the gym to get my tone back... I've lost it over the last few weeks. It's actually been inspiring. Last night, I went pretty late and there was this overweight man who was working out. That is what all fat people should do. Work out. Doing weights. Running on the treadmill. Hell, walking on the treadmill. SOMETHING active. I talked to my favorite trainer and apparently the guy's already lost like 50 pounds over the last several months. THAT is inspiring. Not even on the fat people becoming healthier level but the fact that someone can dedicate themselves to doing something.

The Guitar Hero has been really cute. I think the past weeks have reassured him of us. He's been driving up to see me even though it's like an hour and half away so it's been nice spending time together even though it's the summer.

There is no justice in this world...

I went shopping today for a new outfit to wear to Generic Biotech Firm Guy and Twin B's barbecue party and of course there were fat people jiggling along their merry way, still able to stuff multiple Big Macs down their fleshy sleep-apnea-snore emitting throats. And of course they take up the entire walkway so I can't even quickly go around them without actually being partially absorbed by their multiple fat rolls. So I'm forced to draft them from behind. Talk about major B.O. God it smelled like ancient gym socks from the bottom of a frat boy's hamper which haven't seen the light or fresh breath of day in the four years that he's been a member.

I wanted to projectile vomit my disgust onto them.

And wouldn't you know it... the fat fats were headed towards the same department store that I was. They even went straight to the dress that I had been eying in a catalogue so I had to quickly turn my attention elsewhere to escape their smelly jiggliness. I once again almost wanted to throw up lunch all over them so they would leave. Almost. But I was in a really nice store and you know, vomit in general isn't too healthy for the body, so I refrained.

I perused the fine jewelry counters and thought about what accessories would go well with my outfit and once the fat people left the rack with the dress on it, I went to get a closer look. It was a decent material - a linen in a deep navy blue, but it screamed "dry clean"... what with the way linen wrinkles at the slightest breath of air. Dry cleaning is currently out of my budget, given the monthly Brazilians and regular mani/pedi/hair salon trips which keep me feeling sane enough to study.

I browsed some more before I went to go consider an anchor necklace that I saw in the accessories case, and passed the fat fats, who were making a purchase at the register.

To my horror, the male fat fat casually whipped out an AMEX Black card. WHAT THE HELL. How can someone who is rich enough to have the coveted AMEX Black card, BE a fat fat??! Rich people who are that rich can afford all the personal chefs and trainers and equipment and spend all day doing lunges around their mansions and castles to NOT be a fat fat. And if not that, they could choose to suck out the fat via liposuction, obviously the more lazy and unhealthy way to do it - but that's usually at the least of a rich person's worries. And if NOTHING else, they could buy some fast pill to weight loss like that Alli pill you keep hearing about that makes you have explosive shits comprising of fatty deposits which the pill prevents your intestines from absorbing.

What the hell. How is it that some butterball OBESE and digustingly fat person (we're not talking your typical overweight here, we're talking like 4x my size... in ONE person) be that rich? It utterly boggles the mind. I understand if you have a gene which makes you PRONE to obesity... but still... something's putting that food and shoving it down down down... you have to stop blaming the genes at some point.

Ugh I was so disgusted, I almost forgot about my cute anchor pendant. But luckily I remembered to get it and it made me feel better knowing that I will look super cute in my new sundress, complete with anchor pendant and festive yacht-themed scarf. And of course a straw chapeau to shade my face from the sun.

I hate how midterms come in waves...

I haven't written on this thing in weeks. That is only the flaw of the semester system... midterms directly after spring break.

Other than that... things have been relatively quiet. Just studying my ass off and partying when not studying. Spring is pretty mellow... Fall is madness since there's rush, football games, the majority of the Greek philanthropy events happen then... haha although I feel bad for Tinkerballerina and the rest of The Dancers since they have a lot of dance practices for their various dance groups, yet they have to repeat rush and all the pledging and whatnot for their spring class. She was bitching to me about it the other day when we were watching Top Model.

Speaking of Top Model... it's interesting to me that the contestants are not especially pretty or beautiful. Actually they are just tall, skinny, gawky, and awkward. And all of them bitch a LOT. They wouldn't be pretty at all in their shoots minus all of that retouching and special lighting... In real life, these women are sticks... just as bad as women with sweaty fat rolls. In fact, I'd love to see a plus size model win America's Next Top Model... I bet airbrushed fat rolls would look alright since it would be matte finished and all the spider veins and whatnot would be airbrushed out.

Well time to go... I have a date with Little Sis #1 tonight.

Fat People Are Disgusting

Fat people need to get off their lazy asses and lose the belly rolls and cankles and ugh I can't even think about it anymore. Seriously. It's not good for you. Or for me for that matter because I have to watch you jiggle and huff and puff when you try to move like two feet. I don't want to have to sit next to you on airplanes. I don't want to have to awkwardly try to move around you when we're shopping. And it's awkward when you shop in the store I work in and ask me for an opinion about a top... that's like three sizes too small for you.

It's a health issue too. You're storing up Type II Diabetes and Heart Disease there.

I mean if you have a thyroid problem, fine, it's out of your control and it's not like you can beat your mutinying thyroid into submission. Or you're having a stressful month and blew up like 20lbs, it's okay. We all have those. Get back to the gym ASAP and take care of yourself and it'll be okay.

But if you're like 300lbs and 5'2"... go out for a walk. That's all it takes. Go WALK. And when you get to McDonald's, you know, try eating a salad as opposed to the Big Mac, Large Fries, and Large Diet Coke. The Diet Coke does not make it okay for you to consume a Big Mac and Large Fries.

Stop jiggling by me with your muffin tops hanging out and your greasy faces that come with eating all that fatty food without working out... and stop trying to rush The House. We don't want your fatness influencing other girls and making them think it's okay to let yourself go like that. It's not. It's especially not okay when you're a boring person to top it off. We are a sorority. We take people we like. We don't want broken people who are seeking help. And above all, we don't want frat guys and professors to avert their eyes uncomfortably when we interact with them.

And if you really think you're still great and can get a job because you're SO talented... think again. Employers have to pay health insurance and they have to look at you. Health insurance can get pricey when you've got issues like a bad back and insulin needs. While it's not legal to base physical size when considering employment, they'll pay extra special attention to your application and if you don't make one teensy qualification, well there goes your employment. Is it easier to learn how to program a computer, ten-key by touch, type 120 wpm, become a certified public accountant and member of the AICPA... or just go for a 20 minute walk 3 times a week?

I sometimes wish Natural Selection was still in effect more so than the ability of humans to effectively overcome it with technological advances in medicine. Fat people are slow and wheezy and full of nutrients. They would not survive. Predators would catch them and feed them to their babies.

Fat people need to look at themselves in the mirror, stop crying into their Supersized Meals, and make a commitment to get themselves on a healthier track.