It seems that insanity is more prevalent during the full moon...

I just read an article that The News Junkie of The House emailed out... that some girls from Massachusetts supposedly made a pact to get pregnant together. All of them are under age 16.
One even got knocked up by a 24 year old homeless guy!! (check it out here if you wish Pregnancy Pact)

What the hell were they thinking?

There's speculation that they wanted someone to love them unconditionally, because they weren't getting it from boys or parents or whatever. What the fuck. Just because you pop out a kid does not mean you're going to get a little mini-you that is programmed to love you. And actually, when you hear screaming and crying at 3 am, I imagine you won't love it very much either.

In fact, unless you are well-established with job security and strong family support, there are tons of reasons that children will only serve to make your life miserable from day one. One girl from The House got pregnant last year and it was NOT a pretty sight. She decided to keep it for a veritable host of reasons (mainly religion and because she had the luxury of choosing due to her family's ability to support the added burden). At the time, I was in a bunch of reproductive health classes and I witnessed what I learned first hand, which was educational and whatnot for me, but massively sucky for her.

Everyone who does not fall under the category of well-established and in a secure point in their lives who is making a child with the person whom they love and who loves them... should read the following and if you still want to have a child, you should be taken to a mental institution.

Babies may be cute... but remember that during pregnancy, fetuses are essentially parasitic leeches. They take over your body and use it as a host: sucking your life force, nutrients, and will to live out of you. In fact, we learned in Human Reproduction that if an expecting mother doesn't get enough calcium to support the baby as well, the baby will steal it from the mother's bones. Hello future osteoporosis. Sadly, while they suck nutrients out of your body, they manage to force you to gain anywhere from 20-50lbs and give you unsightly stretch marks which are pretty much here to stay.

Pregnancy is not glamorous. The Pregnant Girl in The House puked every morning and sometimes into the afternoons. She missed a lot of class while collapsed over a toilet. Really. This is college. If anything she should have been puking because she drank too much, but no. Ankles retain fluid and suddenly shoes don't fit right anymore. You will not be able to walk properly and will instead be subjugated to waddling. Not to mention you will be hot all the time and unable to find a comfortable position to sleep once you really start to get big. Did I mention really weird cravings and heartburn? And once that baby starts moving around, he or she will find the exact position to make you most miserable.

Oh yes, and the incessant need to pee. That baby will lodge itself in the precise position to kick your bladder just for fun. The Pregnant Girl in The House had to pee all the freaking time. Not only that, this one time when she was about 7 months, she fell in the toilet and needed help getting up. It was definitely not cute.

And of course, that's just all the beginning.

Pregnancy often involves lots of needles. Not your average syringe needles...we're talking the big kahunas. During an amniocentesis, which tests the amniotic fluid surrounding the fetus for gender as well as deformities, the doctor sticks a rather long needle into your abdomen or vagina to broach the placenta. Though they use local anesthetic, this is not a pleasant experience. Also, once you go into labor, if you opt for the epidural, you're going to get one long ass needle up your spine, which serves to block off all nerve signals to the brain from your lower body.

And of course you've had to have seen movies depicting labor. Let me tell you, the movie Knocked Up was tame in comparison. The Pregnant Girl was screaming her head off every time she had a contraction and practically ready to start throwing objects that surrounded her bedside. Luckily, a nurse was wise enough to place these just out of her reach. Then during the actual labor process, doctors often have to take scissors and cut your vaginal opening to make it bigger for the baby to pass through without tearing. Cut. That's right. Because apparently clean cuts are easier to stitch up than tears. Think about THAT.

And then once it's all over, you have a child. A baby that will scream, cry, and ooze fluids of various colors and viscosities out of its every orifice. This process usually occurs at inopportune times like 3 am in the morning, which massively sucks in itself, let alone if you have work or school the next morning. The screaming will stop once you pick up the baby and feed it and rock it but once you set him or her down, the crying will commence once more.

Your body will still be doing weird things. Like oozing milk from your breasts, which will then cause you to resort buying bra pads to absorb the excess. They will also hurt if they're too full of milk so you'll probably need to invest in a milk pump.

And then there are the added financial burdens. The base average that I've read in the first year of life... is a whopping $10,000. And this is just for the BARE minimum. Don't forget all the work hours you won't have since you'll be too tired or unable to find work due to lack of affordable daycare.

Then when you don't have time to properly raise your baby and start disciplining them from the start, they turn into little terrors which evolve into bratty tweens and then you get your breed of future idiots and general drains on society.

Sure, there are exceptions to the rule. The Pregnant Girl happens to have parents who are well off and grudgingly willing to help her out. The agreement is that they will help raise the baby if she finishes school and gets into a real career. She's lucky. But guess what, even if you want unconditional love, you can't always have it since she can only see her baby on weekends or when she has time. Forget hanging out with friends, all of your time will be divided on work and the baby. The Pregnant Girl had to deactivate from The House because she just doesn't have time to be an active. She didn't have a choice.

Don't be stupid and make stupid choices without examining the facts. The whole childbirth/childrearing experience will come in time when you can actually experience the joys because you won't be constantly worried or preoccupied with the horrors. I hate when I read about people voluntarily doing things to make their life unnecessarily complicated.

What really took the cake though, was the fact that the doctor and the nurse at the school clinic resigned due to inability to distribute contraceptives confidentially. While I applaud their stand for contraceptives as another choice, do they REALLY think that was the issue here? Assuming that these girls were seeking to get pregnant, obviously they wouldn't have used birth control even if it were available to them. The root of the problem was not lack of contraceptives, it was the fact that they only chose to see the bright side of pregnancy and ignore all of the crap. In the end, they may not be to blame. After all, why would they need to make unconditional love if they received it or had support or someone to talk to them? Based on this story alone, I can't lay blame on the parents either... who knows what the real facts are? But somewhere along the way, there was a misconnect... whether it be in the support system or the inability to communicate the girls' wants and needs properly.

I can't wait to leave on the cruise and forget about sad stories like this about people making stupid decisions.

Some people just need to be done.

Miss Socially Awkward took me to The House's Judicial Committee for the "unseemly" behavior. The instance of my so-called "inappropriate" behavior?? Laying out in a bikini out by The Greek Fields. What the hell. SERIOUSLY!?

Of course no one took her seriously since that charge is just stupid. If she's going to get me for something, at least make it good... not something so pathetic. And dating back to the 1800s. Honestly, she's so socially awkward, she hasn't realized that unless you're a crazy puritan or one of those extremist Mormons who only believe in wearing prairie dresses with braids, you can lie out in the sun and tan.

And then she wasn't satisfied with this rejection from The J-Comm and wrote a fucking letter to The Student Affairs Dean trying to have me sent to The Court. No joke, she tried to have me sent to The Student Affairs Court. First of all... it's fucking the last week of school and she's trying to have me sent to a trial with a jury of my peers. This never happens to anyone except freshman who get caught underage drinking in the dorms. Of course it was rejected, but I received an email saying that I had to meet with the dean. And he went onto this speech of how it's good that people around me care about my wellbeing. Wellbeing my fucking ass... I hate these "reach out" meetings since the only reason why I got called in at all is because she's determined to keep her sister from The Rush Lists and that's not going to happen.

This is so late in the semester that it's not even worth doing something to her. I would like to mess with her a little... maybe I can get The Clerk to kick her out of The House for the next year so she couldn't live in.

In any case, I need to start studying for finals.

Today was such a nice day until...

Miss Socially Awkward accosted me while I was laying out by The Greek Fields. I hate that awkward bitch. It's one thing if you've got a great personality but need a little help in looking more polished, it's another when you're inept at holding a conversation, bitchy, and look like birds are going to be nesting in your hair.

Her biological sister is going through rush this fall and Miss Socially Awkward has been campaigning for us not to let her in. Flat out just deny her. Which is screwed up on so many levels. First of all, her real little sister is completely personable and has great taste to top it off. She is good friends with that thing we like to call the hairbrush. And likes to take regular showers. Let's just say I haven't seen Miss Socially Awkward shower in the last four days and she sure smells like she hasn't. Honestly, spritz on some perfume or SOMETHING. I'm tempted to give her my bottle of Febreeze.

As far as I know, everyone who's met Miss Socially Awkward's little sister loves her and is dying for her to be in The House.

And Miss Socially Awkward had the fucking nerve to come annoy me today when I just wanted some peace and quiet and nice scenery while some boys from The Charter House were playing soccer shirtless. I may not be The President or VP Recruitment, but I have a lot of clout within The House. I sit on The Rush Board and am a silent adviser to a lot of members. People don't argue with me.

She wanted me to immediately take her sister off the list of formal invitation recipients for Rush. We haven't even formulated these lists yet of women we want to formally invite to rush The House. You've got to be amazing to get on this list. I was number one on the list my rush year and I happen to take great pride in that so I do not take the planning of these lists lightly. Her sister would be a great candidate to be number one on the list. She will be known as The Number One because I for sure want her and what I say more or less goes.

I told Miss Socially Awkward that it was not going to be possible to reject her sister before she even met anyone in The House and she started fuming at me and saying how The Number One has tormented her for her entire life and how she's just rushing to get back at her for some childish grudge she doesn't remember.

Miss Socially Awkward then started yelling at me and telling me how this is war and how I may have won the battle but she was going to win the war. And of course she did this stupidly at The Greek Fields so half The Row probably heard us.

And how the hell is she going to sabotage me? Me personally? The Rush Lists? Her own sister? We'll see about that... I have to do a little reconnaissance and see what she has planned. She's awkward yes, and hasn't made it to Ariel's level of human knowledge that even a fork can be used to make hair look nice... but she isn't stupid. I'll grant her that. Or at least not stupid about school and planning. I'll need to get people to watch out for me. If she wants a war, then she will get a war.

Why are stupid people always in charge?

Greeks have had a lot of bad press lately from the insane drug bust at San Diego State in California to the hazing that went down at Tulane in Louisiana.

This is mainly the cause of two groups of stupid people in power: the media and the actual stupid people who did thing being reported.

Not to defend the actions of morons who did stupid shit, but the media always portrays the Greek system horribly. Their damn articles are biased and make us look like drains on society when in reality, we aren't. This one article I read when the SDSU story broke said something like "96 were arrested, among whom were several fraternity members" WHAT THE FUCK. What about people from other groups that may have been involved? What about some honors student who went down that path? Or the bookie who sold drugs to supplement his income? What the fuck with the specific identification of Greeks? Even if there weren't other groups involved, they shouldn't have just blatantly put that out there to make it sound like it was a Greek thing, because not all of the 96 were fraternity members.

Part of the reason why there ARE these fucked up stereotypes is because of the media. What about our philanthropy events which raise thousands of dollars towards causes and charities?! Where's the profile on The President of The House who is an honors student studying chemical engineering, doing cutting edge research, and volunteers at the local animal shelter. What about the frat bro in Hilltop House who started his own business? Why are these portraits not being represented and only the asinine individuals who marinate their neurons and livers in alcohol and fill their lungs with carcinogens every weekend?

Yes, there are idiots like the ones who poured boiling hot water on their pledges. Or make them chug milk or other equally stupid things. They're horrible examples of greek life. For one thing, if there are secret rituals and ceremonies involved, you don't do things that actually injure their pledges. Why are some people so thick in the head about that? Like honestly... what was the POINT of pouring hot water with vinegar and spices (so called "crab water") on their pledges? Like really, were they really SO uncreative that all they could think of was to essentially give their pledges a bath? There's no actual brotherhood bonding going on here... just pain and stupidity. I hope some of their bros involved in this were burned in the process of boiling all that water. Even better if some of the spice got into their eyes.

Obviously, whoever decided that this should be a part of their "hell night" should not be in a position of power and actually their seed should be eliminated from the gene pool entirely. But that is how the world has worked since humans sought ways to battle the forces of evolution. If we were still in prehistoric times, all the fat people would have been long eaten and all the stupid people would have likely fallen off cliffs or managed to club themselves in the head rather than prey. Sometimes I wonder what a world like that would be like... but for now I entertain myself with The Darwin Awards.

In any case, the whole conclusion to this rant is:
1. Yes, I'm a Greek but no, I'm not a perpetually drunk whore.
2. Stop putting mentally deficient people into positions of power because clearly they don't know what they're doing or the consequences.
3. The media needs to stop solely portraying Greeks as the downfall of society.
4. Normal people need to be more skeptical and less apt to just follow what the media says. Let's not be lemmings that follow each other off cliffs.

Sunny with a Chance of Flashing

Some people are just incredibly amusing. Or stupid. And quite often, it's a glorious mix of both.

It was sunny but pretty frigid all day and when I left this morning for class, there was a thin layer of ice pretty much coating everything. So I wore weather appropriate clothing... jeans, Uggs, sweater, scarf.

Some did not choose to wear weather appropriate clothing. And the result was pretty amusing.

I don't even know if this girl is in a house, she wasn't sporting any letters and I didn't recognize her, but she wore a miniskirt and Uggs and a sweatshirt. Impractical, of course... who wears a miniskirt out in the low thirties?

In any case, she slipped on a patch of ice and went flying and basically flashed the world. Probably a frat boy's dream... but I didn't see any around since this was on the path back towards the residences. And let me tell you, did she have a cottage cheese ass. She slipped a few more times that I could see before I turned to go to The Row. Poor girl. I would pity her... except she decided to make bad clothing choices.

They say to be thankful everyday for something...

I am thankful that I do not have a cottage cheese ass. And that I don't wear miniskirts into the cold.