The Mansion pledges and The House pledges received their joint task last night. The only fault about doing things with only one other fraternity is that inevitably, the sorority always outnumbers the fraternity. Even though we are a pretty Greek school... it's just the way it works. Girls who lucked out were paired with a pledge and the rest were given one hour to find a guy who would complete their task with them. I was proud as every girl who had to find a guy did. Most were friends and we had a few boyfriends and other Greek men in the mix. The Pledge Mom had a little fun making the assignments and paired The Sorority Prodigy with The Guitar Hero's newest little bro, Bloodhound. Don't ask me why they call him that... that's his pledge nickname so I have no idea.
Their task is to learn a ballroom dance by Saturday, when they will perform it for both houses. The pairs all drew dances out of a hat - foxtrot, waltz, tango, or paso doble. Hahaha then we told them that unless they passed the task, they wouldn't be initiated. Always a fun threat that nobody ever actually follows through on. The Social Chair was brilliant for thinking this task up since it requires The Pledges to learn something about social interaction. And pick up at least one kind of classy partner dance that doesn't involve gyrations and simulated sex on a dance floor, great for invites and parties... not so great for respectable functions, date and dinner parties. We had some opposition in The House from some members, including The Vice President of Development, who thought that this task was going to be a waste of time and not be entertaining for the actives. I backed The Social Chair and commented on how ironic it was that this task could be seen as a form of self-improvement and learning a new skill and yet the VP Development herself was against it. Not to mention that this should keep everyone entertained since it's our own version of So You Think You Can Dance. That won out the vote. Girls in The House are addicted to that show... quite possibly even more so than The Dancers... oh the ironies.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
Welcome to HELL!!!
Hell Week for our newest class has begun. This should be a good week. The pledges moved into the living room last night to facilitate the organization of events. Their tasks thus far have been relatively tame. It won’t get much more difficult, but it will be interesting. There will be a few late night awakenings and a joint task with The Mansion’s pledges. To start things off, last night there was a midmorning awakening at about 3AM which involved taking flaming shots of Bacardi 151 with their Big Sis’s and taking The Loyalty Oath that rituals would not be revealed. I imagine some of the pledges are still drunk if not hungover from that activity. Thank god I have always been able to hold my liquor. Same with The Sorority Prodigy. I was pleased. That’s the great thing about growing up with brothers and in a Greek family... you learn to drink early on. Granted I also made her take some vitamins and chug something with electrolytes before getting back to bed so I imagine both of us are more chipper than others.
In other news, Thanksgiving was such an ordeal. The Nana glared at me through most of cocktails and dinner. Although, cocktails definitely facilitated the process of dealing with relatives. The Older Brother was distant because someone in the family had told him about the date auction date between The Wine Heir and myself. Not to mention he FINALLY broke up with his girlfriend. Or she broke up with him. It’s not entirely clear but I’m guessing it’s the latter because he seems unusually morose. I felt almost a little bad, but The Older Brother I’m sure will be back to his erratic dating antics before long. He’s like The Flirt in that sense. And as if that wasn’t enough drama for the weekend, The Guitar Hero kept drunk calling me and wanting to talk about us. Why the hell are guys such girls? I had a long conversation with The Sorority Prodigy about it after one of these drunken episodes and she was saying how he’s being stupid and unnecessarily jealous. He really is and it’s a major turn off.
Black Friday shopping was pretty successful though. It was extremely sororitay in the sense that The Sorority Prodigy’s mother called The Mother and all four of us went on a shopping trip together. I got some new dresses, a new bag, and assorted accessories. The Older Brother, The Younger Brother, and The Guitar Hero decided to do the whole camp out for assorted video gaming systems thing. It was all about family bonding shit.
Although, the redeeming quality about family gatherings is that I hear lots of great Greek stories. Among them came the “urban legend” sorority hazing incident that everyone hears about yet it's so ludicrous that everyone hopes that it's not true… the one involving girls stripping down to underwear and a fraternity coming with magic marker and marking any imperfections. This actually happened at The Cool Aunt’s sorority one year. Apparently they had elected this crazy Pledge Mom who was on like fucking medication so she did all kinds of psychological shit like that. I believe it. The Cool Aunt has never been one to lie. But why the hell would the girls ever let fraternity boys do the marking? Of course every guy is going to think that there’s not enough in the ass or the boobs unless some girl is of pornographic proportions. It’s incredibly unrealistic and stupid. And any girl who knows anything about boys would know that.
Luckily, we at The House have better hazing rituals that are less crass. This week should be good.
In other news, Thanksgiving was such an ordeal. The Nana glared at me through most of cocktails and dinner. Although, cocktails definitely facilitated the process of dealing with relatives. The Older Brother was distant because someone in the family had told him about the date auction date between The Wine Heir and myself. Not to mention he FINALLY broke up with his girlfriend. Or she broke up with him. It’s not entirely clear but I’m guessing it’s the latter because he seems unusually morose. I felt almost a little bad, but The Older Brother I’m sure will be back to his erratic dating antics before long. He’s like The Flirt in that sense. And as if that wasn’t enough drama for the weekend, The Guitar Hero kept drunk calling me and wanting to talk about us. Why the hell are guys such girls? I had a long conversation with The Sorority Prodigy about it after one of these drunken episodes and she was saying how he’s being stupid and unnecessarily jealous. He really is and it’s a major turn off.
Black Friday shopping was pretty successful though. It was extremely sororitay in the sense that The Sorority Prodigy’s mother called The Mother and all four of us went on a shopping trip together. I got some new dresses, a new bag, and assorted accessories. The Older Brother, The Younger Brother, and The Guitar Hero decided to do the whole camp out for assorted video gaming systems thing. It was all about family bonding shit.
Although, the redeeming quality about family gatherings is that I hear lots of great Greek stories. Among them came the “urban legend” sorority hazing incident that everyone hears about yet it's so ludicrous that everyone hopes that it's not true… the one involving girls stripping down to underwear and a fraternity coming with magic marker and marking any imperfections. This actually happened at The Cool Aunt’s sorority one year. Apparently they had elected this crazy Pledge Mom who was on like fucking medication so she did all kinds of psychological shit like that. I believe it. The Cool Aunt has never been one to lie. But why the hell would the girls ever let fraternity boys do the marking? Of course every guy is going to think that there’s not enough in the ass or the boobs unless some girl is of pornographic proportions. It’s incredibly unrealistic and stupid. And any girl who knows anything about boys would know that.
Luckily, we at The House have better hazing rituals that are less crass. This week should be good.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Don't Faze Me, Bro!
It's Faze Day. All Greek Day of Fake Hazing. Something stupid the Advisors and The Administration and PHC and IFC came up with where every year we have this one day to "healthily engage in bonding activities". All events have to be pre-approved by the aforementioned parties and there are all this liability waiver shit that both Actives and Pledges sign saying that all parties acknowledge that a Pledge can stop at any time without repercussion... lots of annoying legal jargon... etc.
It is a decently fun day I guess and always a good one to see what everyone around The Row is doing to their pledges.
Last year, The Mansion's pledges served us "breakfast in bed". That was actually not my favorite... nor was it popular with a lot of girls just because we had to get up ridiculously early, clean our rooms, look cute, and then pretend to be "in bed". We told them not to do that this year for all of our sakes since we enjoy sleeping in post Friday night parties. They always make their pledges do something for us. We've got an informal Brother/Sister pairing up between our respective organizations even though that's generally not kosher. It just happened that way since so many of us happen to be dating so many of them.
Our pledges are playing in a soccer game against The Sorority Wannabe Pledges and that should be a piece of cake (slight pun intended). Considering how much of a huge joke that is. The Sorority Wannabes don't stand a chance. I imagine most of them have never set foot on a soccer field.
I imagine The Charter House will have something up their sleeve as well.
All in all, this should be a decently fun day what with the All Greek barbecue and all the assorted fake hazing "bonding" tasks. At least there is one guarantee for the pledges... that nobody's going to haze them tonight since The Advisors, The Administrators, and PHC/IFC will be on the look out for real hazing tonight and most houses are smart enough not to haze the night directly following a day of fake hazing in which all active members get an hour long presentation on the dangers and ills of real hazing. And get reminded that there will be "patrols" and that there's a Hazing Hotline. Dumbest thing in the world, but in the PHC/IFC and the Dean's offices, there is a phone line dedicated to reporting hazing. What a waste of a perfectly decent phone line!
It is a decently fun day I guess and always a good one to see what everyone around The Row is doing to their pledges.
Last year, The Mansion's pledges served us "breakfast in bed". That was actually not my favorite... nor was it popular with a lot of girls just because we had to get up ridiculously early, clean our rooms, look cute, and then pretend to be "in bed". We told them not to do that this year for all of our sakes since we enjoy sleeping in post Friday night parties. They always make their pledges do something for us. We've got an informal Brother/Sister pairing up between our respective organizations even though that's generally not kosher. It just happened that way since so many of us happen to be dating so many of them.
Our pledges are playing in a soccer game against The Sorority Wannabe Pledges and that should be a piece of cake (slight pun intended). Considering how much of a huge joke that is. The Sorority Wannabes don't stand a chance. I imagine most of them have never set foot on a soccer field.
I imagine The Charter House will have something up their sleeve as well.
All in all, this should be a decently fun day what with the All Greek barbecue and all the assorted fake hazing "bonding" tasks. At least there is one guarantee for the pledges... that nobody's going to haze them tonight since The Advisors, The Administrators, and PHC/IFC will be on the look out for real hazing tonight and most houses are smart enough not to haze the night directly following a day of fake hazing in which all active members get an hour long presentation on the dangers and ills of real hazing. And get reminded that there will be "patrols" and that there's a Hazing Hotline. Dumbest thing in the world, but in the PHC/IFC and the Dean's offices, there is a phone line dedicated to reporting hazing. What a waste of a perfectly decent phone line!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A shotful of vodka helps the medicine go down.
Honestly some weeks I just get too busy to post... the last couple of weeks being the perfect example. Although there were some interesting highlights.
The Wine Heir flew us out to his family's vineyard for a weekend for our "date". It was charming and he definitely did impress. I think he wanted to emphasize the point that he has a bigger lot in life than The Guitar Hero. Nothing happened if any of you thought that I was going to be a sorority slut. Granted he kept plying me with wine and other assorted drinks. Between the two of us, a few bottles of Merlot and Cabernet disappeared and I had a pretty gross wine hangover the next morning. Damn sulfates. I nursed it with a baby bottle of Grey Goose tipped into tomato juice on the flight back.
The Wine Heir didn't hint at all at breaking The Guitar Hero and I up but of course that was his plan. I got back to my room in The House to find the largest bouquet of flowers I've ever seen and a box from Tiffany's. The Guitar Hero is being a big baby about it all... probably because he's insecure and it's annoying the hell out of me. Even The Sorority Prodigy told him to stop being such a baby and back off. His little jealous streak was cute at first and now it's just getting a little annoying. This is why being single is better than being tied down. We've had a rocky few weeks and I'm thinking about breaking it off just because it's getting to that point where I'm not having fun. He's just being whiny and depressed. The other day I was walking by The Mansion and he was blasting the most depressing country music in existence.
In other news, The House had our Big/Lil week during which I spent exorbitant amounts of time and money on The Sorority Prodigy. It's tradition in our line to get a Tiffany's letter charm so that was a part of it. Not to mention taking her out to dinner practically every night and sending her surprise flowers. Then I had to make Littles #1 and #2 feel better and not jealous so I spent time and money there too. Such a balance act... I've definitely gone on a lot of coffee/dessert dates these past two weeks.
And of course, The Row highlights. Most fraternities are heading into their respective Hell Weeks so there have been more interesting things to wake up to. The Dancers had the metal Greek letters on their house inverted... obviously the doing of fraternity pledges. Apparently they climbed up on ladders and unscrewed the letters and then rescrewed them in upside down. And then The Sorority Wannabe house... I feel a little bad that they didn't realize the prank that was played on them. Honestly they're not real sorority girls. They just like to think they are. But in any case, there are a number of Fat Fats and Awkwards in that house and so someone (maybe not even a fraternity is the speculation) left them a huge basket of Twinkies and other assorted processed foods. And the piece de resistance was a stuffed pig in the middle of the basket. Honestly how could the message be more clear?? They actually took it in and spammed the all Greek mailing list that they loved it. And they weren't doing the whole "be a bigger person" deal... they actually believed it. Oh well... at least they're all in the same house and not dispersed through The Real Row Sororities. I don't think I could handle anyone that slow in The House.
The Wine Heir flew us out to his family's vineyard for a weekend for our "date". It was charming and he definitely did impress. I think he wanted to emphasize the point that he has a bigger lot in life than The Guitar Hero. Nothing happened if any of you thought that I was going to be a sorority slut. Granted he kept plying me with wine and other assorted drinks. Between the two of us, a few bottles of Merlot and Cabernet disappeared and I had a pretty gross wine hangover the next morning. Damn sulfates. I nursed it with a baby bottle of Grey Goose tipped into tomato juice on the flight back.
The Wine Heir didn't hint at all at breaking The Guitar Hero and I up but of course that was his plan. I got back to my room in The House to find the largest bouquet of flowers I've ever seen and a box from Tiffany's. The Guitar Hero is being a big baby about it all... probably because he's insecure and it's annoying the hell out of me. Even The Sorority Prodigy told him to stop being such a baby and back off. His little jealous streak was cute at first and now it's just getting a little annoying. This is why being single is better than being tied down. We've had a rocky few weeks and I'm thinking about breaking it off just because it's getting to that point where I'm not having fun. He's just being whiny and depressed. The other day I was walking by The Mansion and he was blasting the most depressing country music in existence.
In other news, The House had our Big/Lil week during which I spent exorbitant amounts of time and money on The Sorority Prodigy. It's tradition in our line to get a Tiffany's letter charm so that was a part of it. Not to mention taking her out to dinner practically every night and sending her surprise flowers. Then I had to make Littles #1 and #2 feel better and not jealous so I spent time and money there too. Such a balance act... I've definitely gone on a lot of coffee/dessert dates these past two weeks.
And of course, The Row highlights. Most fraternities are heading into their respective Hell Weeks so there have been more interesting things to wake up to. The Dancers had the metal Greek letters on their house inverted... obviously the doing of fraternity pledges. Apparently they climbed up on ladders and unscrewed the letters and then rescrewed them in upside down. And then The Sorority Wannabe house... I feel a little bad that they didn't realize the prank that was played on them. Honestly they're not real sorority girls. They just like to think they are. But in any case, there are a number of Fat Fats and Awkwards in that house and so someone (maybe not even a fraternity is the speculation) left them a huge basket of Twinkies and other assorted processed foods. And the piece de resistance was a stuffed pig in the middle of the basket. Honestly how could the message be more clear?? They actually took it in and spammed the all Greek mailing list that they loved it. And they weren't doing the whole "be a bigger person" deal... they actually believed it. Oh well... at least they're all in the same house and not dispersed through The Real Row Sororities. I don't think I could handle anyone that slow in The House.
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