Foam parties are SO much fun.
Minus the fact that it's freezing outside so showing up to the party in a bikini is a little painful... but it's not wise to bring things to a foam party... they get lost in the foam. I feel a little bad for the bros at The Cave... I mean I guess the darkness set the mood for the foam party, but cleaning up that shit must be horrible. Ironic, because they're cleaning up soap basically... but still horrible.
That and people have been known to have sex in the foam. That's just gross. Tempting, because it's like sex in a giant bathtub, but disgusting for everyone else involved. Especially cuz the condoms disappear and aren't found until the bros start cleaning up.
But that's not my problem. Foam parties are awesome.
I can't wait for this party season to really get under way.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
RIP Heath Ledger
I can't believe Heath Ledger died. He was like epitome of historical hottie. Well, at least in The Patriot and A Knight's Tale. I was like... physically in pain when his character died in the movie.
I mean he was pretty much looked upon favorably by the tabloids and the crazies. And he had such a cute daughter. It's really sad to think that one day, you can just GO like that. I mean granted there's speculation of prescriptive drugs involved, still. I mean he doesn't strike me as the kind of person to abuse drugs... not like the crazy people you tend to learn about in those Just Say No campaigns that schools run. He was responsible.
If anything, I would have seen Britney going first. Or Lindsay Lohan. They're both tons crazier and completely less responsible. Anna Nicole Smith? Not a surprise. Heath Ledger? Devastating.
I think The House is having an official mourning period. Honestly, when the news broke, I got about 20 text messages instantly. It was kind of ridiculous.
RIP Heath. The world will miss you!!
I mean he was pretty much looked upon favorably by the tabloids and the crazies. And he had such a cute daughter. It's really sad to think that one day, you can just GO like that. I mean granted there's speculation of prescriptive drugs involved, still. I mean he doesn't strike me as the kind of person to abuse drugs... not like the crazy people you tend to learn about in those Just Say No campaigns that schools run. He was responsible.
If anything, I would have seen Britney going first. Or Lindsay Lohan. They're both tons crazier and completely less responsible. Anna Nicole Smith? Not a surprise. Heath Ledger? Devastating.
I think The House is having an official mourning period. Honestly, when the news broke, I got about 20 text messages instantly. It was kind of ridiculous.
RIP Heath. The world will miss you!!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Drunk texting is embarrasing for you, but hilarious for me
For a little background on tonight's Drunky Drunk Theatre...
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel has been around for ages. He's like... a sixth year because he keeps switching majors and presumably aspires to be Peter Pan so he doesn't have to ever grow up and can be so drunk, high, and other that he'll constantly hallucinate a fairy companion dressed like a whore. Or have an actual whore. He's actually gotten a fair amount of action for being a disgusting slob who hits on freshmen. Probably how he gets so much action... all the rest of us steer clear of him. Come to think of it... how the hell did he get my number...
Text transcript beginning 12:57am:
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: Hey im SO drunk rite now. Come over
Anonymous Sorority Girl: fun? u ok?
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: Ya ya im k. R u k? U need me 2 come get u? I wanna be all over u like buttr on toast tonite
Anonymous Sorority Girl: uh im good. actually im at The Mansion w/ The Guitar Hero so im kinda busy.
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: WTF u doin w/ that fag? Need me 2 come save u n take u to my place so I can give u some lovin feelin.
Anonymous Sorority Girl: lol y r u not w/ Freshman Girl Who Hasn't Figured Out You're A 6th Year Yet tonight?
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: she dumpd me. bsides i want u not her. lose douchebag n come over.
Anonymous Sorority Girl: ouch she dumped u?
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: nah i dvmped heq. come over. wuts the ass got that i dont got.
Anonymous Sorority Girl: he wrote me a song n hes gonna play it for me. plus i havent hung out w/ him in awhile.
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: o so u feel sory for him so ur hangin. wutev hes such a ploser. shud come over n feel a real man.
Anonymous Sorority Girl: g2g seeya mayb @ the bbq tmo.
End transmission.
What the fuck is a "ploser"? Was he trying to say poser or loser? I can't tell. And what the hell with the pickup lines?! Those were SO bad they couldn't even be considered bad and moldy cheese. But again, hilarious pretty much for everyone except him. Definitely an example of why being a drunken fool is a pretty bad decision all around.
The funniest part is that he won't remember any of it tomorrow and he'll probably wake up with magic marker all over him in the basement of his frat house. Who knows? Maybe he'll show up at the barbecue that way. That would be great. I'd love to see him tomorrow morning, hung over out of his mind, with "I Heart Dick" on his forehead. It happened last fall... word on The Row is that one of his bros forced a pledge write that on The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel's forehead. Apparently he didn't notice til he went out later that night. I don't know whether that's funny or disgusting... that he must not have taken a shower or looked into a bathroom mirror before going out after an entire night of drunken and sweaty partying.
Frat boys are gross.
Except maybe The Guitar Hero. He's a pretty sweet guy and decently cute in his musician wannabe rockstar kind of way. The song he wrote was pretty good. It wasn't EXACTLY written for me but supposedly I inspired it... well according to him anyway.
He wants to go to dinner and "hang out after". Knowing him it'll end up being some really cute over the top date like in A Walk to Remember. God, Shane West is HOT. I agreed, so I guess we'll see where this goes. I don't know... 'cause he is in The Mansion and I like just kickin' it with the bros there.
Dating him might make my friendships with them awkward. Not to mention relationships with other sororities. After all, according to Tinkerballerina, The Guitar Hero was semi-seriously going out with one of The Dancers until he walked in on her and one of his bros going at it like rabbits.
Drama Drama Drama.
The last thing I need is an overly paranoid and insecure boyfriend and a bunch of sororobrats from the other Houses talking shit about me. News travels fast on The Row.
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel has been around for ages. He's like... a sixth year because he keeps switching majors and presumably aspires to be Peter Pan so he doesn't have to ever grow up and can be so drunk, high, and other that he'll constantly hallucinate a fairy companion dressed like a whore. Or have an actual whore. He's actually gotten a fair amount of action for being a disgusting slob who hits on freshmen. Probably how he gets so much action... all the rest of us steer clear of him. Come to think of it... how the hell did he get my number...
Text transcript beginning 12:57am:
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: Hey im SO drunk rite now. Come over
Anonymous Sorority Girl: fun? u ok?
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: Ya ya im k. R u k? U need me 2 come get u? I wanna be all over u like buttr on toast tonite
Anonymous Sorority Girl: uh im good. actually im at The Mansion w/ The Guitar Hero so im kinda busy.
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: WTF u doin w/ that fag? Need me 2 come save u n take u to my place so I can give u some lovin feelin.
Anonymous Sorority Girl: lol y r u not w/ Freshman Girl Who Hasn't Figured Out You're A 6th Year Yet tonight?
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: she dumpd me. bsides i want u not her. lose douchebag n come over.
Anonymous Sorority Girl: ouch she dumped u?
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: nah i dvmped heq. come over. wuts the ass got that i dont got.
Anonymous Sorority Girl: he wrote me a song n hes gonna play it for me. plus i havent hung out w/ him in awhile.
The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel: o so u feel sory for him so ur hangin. wutev hes such a ploser. shud come over n feel a real man.
Anonymous Sorority Girl: g2g seeya mayb @ the bbq tmo.
End transmission.
What the fuck is a "ploser"? Was he trying to say poser or loser? I can't tell. And what the hell with the pickup lines?! Those were SO bad they couldn't even be considered bad and moldy cheese. But again, hilarious pretty much for everyone except him. Definitely an example of why being a drunken fool is a pretty bad decision all around.
The funniest part is that he won't remember any of it tomorrow and he'll probably wake up with magic marker all over him in the basement of his frat house. Who knows? Maybe he'll show up at the barbecue that way. That would be great. I'd love to see him tomorrow morning, hung over out of his mind, with "I Heart Dick" on his forehead. It happened last fall... word on The Row is that one of his bros forced a pledge write that on The Frat Guy with a Liver of Steel's forehead. Apparently he didn't notice til he went out later that night. I don't know whether that's funny or disgusting... that he must not have taken a shower or looked into a bathroom mirror before going out after an entire night of drunken and sweaty partying.
Frat boys are gross.
Except maybe The Guitar Hero. He's a pretty sweet guy and decently cute in his musician wannabe rockstar kind of way. The song he wrote was pretty good. It wasn't EXACTLY written for me but supposedly I inspired it... well according to him anyway.
He wants to go to dinner and "hang out after". Knowing him it'll end up being some really cute over the top date like in A Walk to Remember. God, Shane West is HOT. I agreed, so I guess we'll see where this goes. I don't know... 'cause he is in The Mansion and I like just kickin' it with the bros there.
Dating him might make my friendships with them awkward. Not to mention relationships with other sororities. After all, according to Tinkerballerina, The Guitar Hero was semi-seriously going out with one of The Dancers until he walked in on her and one of his bros going at it like rabbits.
Drama Drama Drama.
The last thing I need is an overly paranoid and insecure boyfriend and a bunch of sororobrats from the other Houses talking shit about me. News travels fast on The Row.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Shopping is Stressful
One would think that a sorority girl, when not flashing people at a frat party and giving countless number of bjs, she would be shopping.
This assumption is wrong on all three counts.
Firstly, I have yet to see a sorority girl from The House or otherwise, randomly pull a Girls Gone Wild and flash someone at a frat party. Well. Except for maybe The Skank from STDs 'R' Us, but she's an exception... even in their house.
Secondly, the number of blow jobs a sorority girl gives is grossly overestimated. Grossly. No pun intended.
Thirdly, I wish I could shop all the time that I'm not a frat party. I wish I had that much disposable income and purchasing power hanging out in my adorable-yet-purchased-during-Black-Friday-sales L.A.M.B wallet.
I am entirely envious of The Daddy's Girl in The House. Her dad has an AMEX Black card. And she gets to go shopping with it. It is glorious. And I aspire to have it someday. Either by my own toil and sweat or by marriage. Hey, after all, I'm a sorority girl. All of you who say I shouldn't marry for money... well I also shouldn't base my decision on not marrying someone based on how much money he has. It goes both ways. So ha. Justification. Or something like it.
In any case... shopping is stressful when I'm looking for the ultimately perfect item to add to my closet. The perfect cashmere sweater. Just the right wash of denim. The exact color in a shirt to bring out the sparkle in my eyes. Too often the shirts are cut too long or short, the jeans have pockets that flatten rather than enhance the butt, or the flare is too much. I hate that.
But there are those glorious moments when you succeed. Although today's success was minor in comparison to finding the perfect jeans to enhance the butt (side note: apparently Victoria's Secret has these new jeans that have elastic to "lift" the butt...), it was still nevertheless a success.
I saved up pennies from the endless sweater folding at Generic Retail Store and purchased:
+1 Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler
+1 Christian Dior Diorshow Waterproof Mascara
And it was glorious.
Each of these purchases individually are bliss in a box... and together... well... together it was quite possibly better than sex.
I know, that's hard to believe for the rogue man on here... but shopping and finding that perfect item is just an orgasmic experience in itself that you shall likely never know. Unless you're gay, in which case, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
I really wish Shu Uemura and Dior would pay me for blogging about their product. Alas, I am not in their pocket. I am just a sorority girl living in a material world who likes to be pretty.
Big eyes with lashes batting... sure enough, I got the number of Tanned and Built Lifeguard upon my visit to the Club Pool this afternoon.
For more tips on big eyes and gorgeousness... visit the Anonymous Sorority Girl's Guide to Make Up and Make Overs!! Guess what, I write about what kinds of things we do as Sorority Girls to make us sparkle.
This is my blog. I can shamelessly plug my other blog on this one. So go.
This assumption is wrong on all three counts.
Firstly, I have yet to see a sorority girl from The House or otherwise, randomly pull a Girls Gone Wild and flash someone at a frat party. Well. Except for maybe The Skank from STDs 'R' Us, but she's an exception... even in their house.
Secondly, the number of blow jobs a sorority girl gives is grossly overestimated. Grossly. No pun intended.
Thirdly, I wish I could shop all the time that I'm not a frat party. I wish I had that much disposable income and purchasing power hanging out in my adorable-yet-purchased-during-Black-Friday-sales L.A.M.B wallet.
I am entirely envious of The Daddy's Girl in The House. Her dad has an AMEX Black card. And she gets to go shopping with it. It is glorious. And I aspire to have it someday. Either by my own toil and sweat or by marriage. Hey, after all, I'm a sorority girl. All of you who say I shouldn't marry for money... well I also shouldn't base my decision on not marrying someone based on how much money he has. It goes both ways. So ha. Justification. Or something like it.
In any case... shopping is stressful when I'm looking for the ultimately perfect item to add to my closet. The perfect cashmere sweater. Just the right wash of denim. The exact color in a shirt to bring out the sparkle in my eyes. Too often the shirts are cut too long or short, the jeans have pockets that flatten rather than enhance the butt, or the flare is too much. I hate that.
But there are those glorious moments when you succeed. Although today's success was minor in comparison to finding the perfect jeans to enhance the butt (side note: apparently Victoria's Secret has these new jeans that have elastic to "lift" the butt...), it was still nevertheless a success.
I saved up pennies from the endless sweater folding at Generic Retail Store and purchased:
+1 Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler
+1 Christian Dior Diorshow Waterproof Mascara
And it was glorious.
Each of these purchases individually are bliss in a box... and together... well... together it was quite possibly better than sex.
I know, that's hard to believe for the rogue man on here... but shopping and finding that perfect item is just an orgasmic experience in itself that you shall likely never know. Unless you're gay, in which case, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
I really wish Shu Uemura and Dior would pay me for blogging about their product. Alas, I am not in their pocket. I am just a sorority girl living in a material world who likes to be pretty.
Big eyes with lashes batting... sure enough, I got the number of Tanned and Built Lifeguard upon my visit to the Club Pool this afternoon.
For more tips on big eyes and gorgeousness... visit the Anonymous Sorority Girl's Guide to Make Up and Make Overs!! Guess what, I write about what kinds of things we do as Sorority Girls to make us sparkle.
This is my blog. I can shamelessly plug my other blog on this one. So go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
